Changing | SM

Part 60: can't get to say

Shawn:

We were in the water, icing cold and my body was shivering.
"Maybe this wasn't the best idea." She laughed as her teeth chattered together. I grabbed her hand in mine, pulling her closer to me as I wrapped my arms around her.
Skin on skin.
Our breath creating fogs as we exhale.

I wish we can run away, just the two of us. Where nobody and nothing can ever split us apart, or just where nobody knows us.
Where it's just us, alone.
That's all I want, and all I want is her.

"Oh, what was it that you wanted to tell me?" She wrapped her arms around my neck, playing with my hair. How can I tell her now? Ruin the moment? "Oh, no it's nothing." I smiled even though I was dying on the inside to not tell her.
In a way I'm scared because it will rip things apart in time, but in another way, I don't want her to find out on her own.
"But back in the kitchen it looked kind of serious?"

Shit.
What can I say now?

"Yeah uh- I uhm... it was just something with my dad, but that's okay now." I lied. Even though I've changed, everyone lies about something. It's a natural thing to all human. "Okay?" She was still questioning me, but I could see that she dropped the subject.

"Should we go inside?" I whispered, feeling her entire body covered in goosebumps. "I think we should." I laughed at her however, seeing her rushing to shore just to get out.
We grabbed our clothes and rushed inside to dry off and get dressed.

"Gosh." She said, her teeth still chattering together. "You're so cute." She playfully glared at me before getting dressed in her nightwear. After I was done I walked over to the bed.
It's weird seeing the room so full.

"What's wrong?" She asked, wrapping her arms around me from behind as she kissed my shoulder. "It's just weird to see where I am now, I mean I never had a bed in this room. Thank you for getting us one." I looked over to her, seeing the smile on her face. "No problem. But let's get in because I'm so sleepy." She jumped on to the bed, crawling up to the top and getting in under the covers.
She immediately balled herself up, tucking the duvet in her neck and closing her eyes.
I turned the light out before walking over and getting in beside her.

"You know, if six months ago today you'd ask me where I'd see myself... I'll never say that I'll be in bed with the love of my life, away from home." I sighed, "Don't say it like that, you're making me feel like I took you from your home." She scooted closer to me.
"No, not at all. You made my eyes open again for where I once only saw sadness and pain, now I see things in a different perspective. And trust me, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here, right by your side." I kissed her forehead before pulling her even closer to me.

"You're so cold." I started rubbing her back, feeling her pressing her ice cold cheek up against my bare chest. "And you're so warm. How can you even sleep without a shirt?" Holding her this close is magical, but at the same time, I don't ever want to let go.

"Don't act like you're complaining. I know how much you love it." She left a few kisses in my neck before tucking the duvet down in my neck as well.
Her arms tightly wrapped around me, as mine is around her.

It's a place of comfort, security and peace.
One embrace I never want to escape.

"Goodnight darling. I love you." I kissed her cheek. "And I love you so much more." She mumbled in my neck, making my heart skip a beat.
The way I love her, gosh, she's my everything.

I don't think my heart will ever beat the same again.