Changing | SM

Part 58: talking it out

Shawn:

I stepped outside with my dad. My heart pounding in my chest and my hands and legs were shaking at and uncontrollable pace. He was silent... and for once I hated it.

"Shawn, my boy...." he trailed off as he sighed, shaking his head before turning to me. "I'm so sorry. Adriana told me how much you've changed and, I wish I could see it in the way she sees it."
"I did. I changed dad. For the better, and it's all because of Adriana. I never thought I'd love anyone again but she proved me wrong. I seriously don't know why she loves me, but when I'm with her... I feel alive. I feel like the better me and I don't want to be without her." I saw the small smile on his face appearing as the smile on mine only grew wider.

When I talk about her I can go on and on about it. "

I can see how happy she makes you Shawn. And I want to say I'm sorry for what I did and the way I treated you, I just felt like I failed as a parent." I nodded, understanding where he's coming from.
But he needs to know my part as well.
There's always two parts to every story.

"You didn't fail dad, everyone changes. But I was upset with you for a long time." His eyebrows furrowed together.
In life there are moments where you know what you're doing and you know how it'll affect people, but on other circumstances you know what's going on, but you don't know what you're doing and how it's affecting people.

"In the time I was so confused, I was so lost and all I needed was my dad. Needing to hear your wise words or motivation to help me move forward, to get out of the dark hole, to simply kust get back up on my own two feat. But instead you just pushed me away and left me there to fight my own battles with no help from the side. If it wasn't for Adriana being my glimpse of hope I don't even know where I'd be by now." He looked sad again, but I had to tell him.

"But that's okay now dad. It's all in the past. But you need to promise me that, even if you're not always there for me, that you'll be there for Aaliyah when I'm not around. Because I don't want her to follow on the same road as me, even though I stepped off those tracks. She doesn't need to see or do the things I did. It's a life I don't want her to live. Keep her safe, okay?" He nodded before pulling me in to a hug, patting my back.

I heard him sniffing, and I too wiped a tear away from my cheek. I have my dad back, even though only time will fix what was broken, I can't thank Adriana enough for talking some sense into the big man.
"And don't you lose Adriana okay, I now see what she changed in not only your life, but in you."
"Yes, about that. Dad there's something I haven't told her yet. And I'm afraid that if she finds out she'll leave me." He looked at me concerned as I rubbed my hands together, nervously feeling my heart pounding in my chest again.
"What is it?" I took a deep breth before telling him about the bet Cody had on over her.

"You need to tell her son, if she finds out that she was just a bet before you've fallen in love with her she just might think that you never loved her."
I cannot let that happen, I can't lose her.

I fear for the day that it might happen, because I don't know what I'll do without her.
"Okay." I just breathed out before we walked back inside.

"Adriana." She looked up at me and I motioned for her to come over. She smiled faintly as she walked up to me, following me into the kitchen. "What's up? What did you guys talk about?" Immediately I grasped her in my arms, cupping her cheeks and crashing my lips to hers.

"Thank you." I rested my forehead against hers as I whispered to her. "No problem. Did you guys talk it out?" I nodded.
"But there's something I need to tell you. Adriana I haven't been completely honest with you. I-"
"Adriana! Common you have to see this." Aaliyah yelled and I saw the smile on her face as she glanced over to me sister.

"Can it wait for later? You can tell me tonight. I love you Mendes." She pecked my lips and ran off.
"Love you too." I sighed.
I need to tell her, but how am I supposed to do that?