Changing | SM

Part 85: all we have

Shawn:

I went outside, to take a breath before getting all worked up over probably nothing. But it's not nothing to me, she's my world.
And having to hear that she won't say that she loves me really tears me apart.

"Shawn? What's going on?" My mum came out to me, placing her hand down on my shoulder as she waited for my reply. "I don't know. Adriana is acting really weird and I feel like this is all, all we have, it's on the line of whatever comes next."
"Don't say that. You guys love each other and I can see how happy you make her." I shook my head.
"Clearly not anymore."
"Stop that!" She punched my shoulder.

"Mum!"
"Don't say that you don't make her happy because she would've left a long time ago if that was the case. She has things of her own going on, troubles and challenges she has to face on her own Shawn! Don't let go of her or I swear to god I'll kill you!" My mum was never this protective over me keeping a girl in my life.

Clearly the effect she had was seen by a lot of people around me, and not just me. "Now go back up there and make things right, even if you just stay in silence." She pushed me back inside but as I stumped she helped me back up. "Sorry." She said and I laughed.

This is actually too cute.
She's mad at me for talking shit, and forces me back inside but at the same time she stays my mum and helps me up the stairs. "Thanks mum. I love you." I pecked her cheek as we reached the top of the stairs.
I let out a shaky breath before walking back in to my room, seeing her already in bed.

I didn't say anything, as did she.
It was silent the entire time.

I opened my closet to get some new, fresh clothes to sleep in. "Oh shit." I grabbed a hold of everything around me to keep me on my feet.
The world is spinning.

"Shawn!" Adriana jumped out of bed and rushed up to me. "Don't worry, I got you." She grabbed me by the arms and held me up. "Lean on me." She helped me to get dressed in my clothes before walking me over to bed.
I wanted to let go but she held on tighter. "It's okay, I got you." She smiled up at me.
"I know you do baby." I whispered.

As I lied down in bed, she pulled the covers over me, turning out the light and getting in bed on her side. It was silent for long, and in the bit of moonlight shining in through the windows I saw her also just staring up at the dark ceiling.

"Shawn."
"Adriana."

She turned to face me, scooting closer, very slowly. "I love you, and you know that."
"I know. But I just wish you'll tell me what's going on." I wrapped my arms around her as I pulled her closer, feeling her hands knotting in with my hair and her heart beating against my chest.
"I don't know what's going on darling. I'm confused with myself." She sighed. "Please don't be. I'm right here." I left a few kisses in her neck before giving her one more passionate kiss.

"I love you so much Shawn." She whispered in my ear as I held her in my arms, ready to fall asleep.
"I love you more princess."
"Wow, where's the bad guy I knew."
"Still here, still yours babe." I heard her chuckling and felt her arms holding me tighter and we drifted off to sleep.

I pray to god that we'll be okay and that everything will be back to normal.

💞Adriana:

💞few days later💞

I can't really say that things were better between us. I feel like something is holding us back from being full with each other again.
I don't know what it is, and I don't have any other thoughts on my mind about us that can possibly make me feel this way.
But something is wrong.

He was still asleep next to me and I turned to look at him. "God I love you. But what's happening to us?" I brushed my fingers through his hair before getting up, getting dressed and leaving.

I need someone to talk to now, other than Shawn.