Changing | SM

Part 75: stay the night

Adriana:

"Life isn't fair Mr. Mendes. It gives and takes till you can't take what's been given anymore, or you don't have any more left for it to take." He looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed together, confusion written all over his face.

"My boyfriend died. Or well, he was murdered." I said, not making eye contact with him. But I saw him in the corner of my eye, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"I'm so sorry Adriana."
"We were at the train station that night, and the same guy Shawn claimed as his friend before changing a few months back, is the same guy who pushed him on to the tracks."

By now he stood up, walking over to the window with his arms crossed over his chest, just taking in what I have to say. "It was a horrific scene, to have to watch the paramedics pick him up... piece by piece. And even before that, watching the last breath leaving his lungs, and the light escaping from his eyes." I was crying by now, thinking all back.

This current event is so similar to losing Mason, but I cannot lose Shawn.
The pain is almost more unbearable, because Shawn can still make it, where Mason had no chance.

"Seeing Shawn in the wreck, covered in blood and losing life it- it brought back too much pain. But now I feel more at ease with the handling of it." He walked up to me.
"It's not okay to lose someone. I'm sorry that happened to you." He looked me in the eyes, with his hands placed down on my shoulders.

I fell forward, letting my head hit his chest as I just started crying.
"I can't lose him Sir. And you guys can't either!"
"I know. I know." It's all he whispered as he rubbed my back.

"I want to thank you Adriana." I looked up at him, wiping my cheeks clean with the blanket. "For what sir?"
"For brining back the boy I knew. For giving me my son back and making him this happy." I smiled at him.

"For months I saw how the situation of him being with that other girl bothered him, and he didn't want to tell me what was going on. That night when I had to bail him out was the first time I saw him losing himself. Although we didn't talk, I could see he was screaming for help, I just didn't knew how to help. I lost him because I wasn't there for him, but when you came in to his life I could see so much change in just that one night that we were there."

It makes me happy to hear this, to see how happy he is to have Shawn back.

"He's not a bad kid, and I know what he did was wrong but don't let that get in the way of the love you guys have for one another." He wiped away a tear from my cheek and I pulled him in to a hug.

"Thank you Sir." I stayed in the room for another while till I was certain of it that I was okay.

Friends and family were streaming in and out of the hospital to go see Shawn. And I watched it all from a distance, not wanting to interact when everyone is sad and down.
I don't want them to remember the day we met to be the one where Shawn is dying down.

"We need to get home, we have work and you have school." I overheard Karen talking.
"I will stay." I stepped up and saw her looking at me with thankful eyes.
"If it's not too much to ask..."
"Trust me Ma'am. There's nowhere I'd rather be." I said goodbye to them all before making my way back to Shawn.

"Will you be staying the night miss?" I nodded to the nurse, she sent me a smile before walking out.
I sat down next to his bed, taking his hand in mine. It doesn't feel like him, his hands are cold now and his lips are blue.
"So many people came to see you today. For someone who once said he's not loved you sure lied." I chuckled with sadness.

There was a long silent pause where I just looked at him. "I love you so much Mendes. I'm not going anywhere." I kissed his forehead before I lied down next to him.
I know it's probably not legal to sleep in bed with a patient, but I need to feel his heart.

I need to know he's still alive, otherwise, how will I live?