Changing | SM

Part 46: he left me

Adriana:

His one hand locked out of mine and he placed it down on my waist, under my shirt.
Trying to turn us over swiftly in a vehicle on the back seat is not as easy, but when it was down and I straddled him, I was the one who pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it down on the front seat next to his. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, his fingers drawing small circles on my lower stomach before pulling me down to him again and pressing his lips to mine.

Nothing felt this way, not even kissing Mason. Shawn is something else, someone else, and I can feel it in the way he kisses me that he was hurt.
He doubts his love and doubts himself in showing love.

He pulled away for a moment, caressing my back as I rested my head on his chest, cheek pressed down on his warmth.
Breathlessly.

The way our breathing moved in sync from our intense makeout is perfect. Feeling his warm body, skin on skin, feeling it against me makes my body tingle and butterflies went wild again.

"I don't want to go further with this. Please." He begged, and I could hear in his voice that he was dead serious about this.
He drew the line, and this is where it ends.
"What's wrong, did I do something wrong?" I asked a lot of questions, suddenly feeling insecure and self conscious about myself and what I'm doing.
I started covering up.

"No no no!" He sat up, me on his lap still straddling him. "You did nothing wrong Adriana. You're perfect, in every single way. I just- I just don't want to go any further because I don't want to take something from you that I can't give back." He whispered the last part, making me smile.
I know what he was put through, and I don't want him to do anything if he isn't yet comfortable with it or if it'll only bring back more bad memories than the ones we tried to get away.

"Thank you. And don't worry, I won't pressure you." I chuckled, seeing his smile growing as his cheeks deepened to a crimson red colour. "And even if we did it, I wouldn't mind you taking it." I whispered close to his lips before giving him one more tender and loving kiss. The sounds our lips made when disconnecting was satisfying.

I held on to him, my face in the crook of his neck as I looked at the windows. With the autumn weather and coldness outside our body's created the perfect heat to dampen up the windows with the fog of out love. "I like you. A lot." He mumbled, kissing my neck. I laughed, looking in his eyes as I cupped his cheek, "You're getting there. Like.. just change two letters and you'll love." Just before he kissed me again, I almost had a heart attach when I saw a red headed guy peeking in through the window.
"What the fuck!" I jumped off his lap, grabbing a shirt from the front to cover up my body.

"Yes Shawn my man! Get some!" The guy yelled and Shawn started chuckling nervously as his cheeks only turned redder with every passing second.
"Brian! Dude what the hell?" He got out of the car, confronting his friend of looking through the window. "I'm sorry dude, but you left in such a hurry I had to make sure all is okay. I went to the cabin but you weren't there so I came here and found your car." I saw him wiggling his eyebrows up and down as he peeked over his shoulder and looked at me.

"Adriana. Nice to meet you again. We sat next to each other in one class, I don't know if you remember me." He reached his and out and I smiled nervously as I still covered myself up with Shawn's shirt. "I remember you. Hi Brian." I chuckled.

"Well uhm.. I'll leave you to it I guess." "Nah dude, you ruined the moment." I smiled as Shawn looked back over to me.
A few minutes and short conversations later he left and Shawn turned around to me again.

"Who knew there was a Brian in these bushes!" He shook his head, smiling at me as I laughed at his statement. He grabbed my shirt from the front and smirked slightly at me, helping me in it. As he pulled it over my head he reached out to get my hair out from the back before kissing my forehead and putting his shirt on.
"Damn. I was really enjoying you without one." He rolled his eyes before getting in the car with a small smirk palying on his lips. "I think you need to get home." Sadly, I nodded.
My dad will be mad, but what the heck.

I had the most amazing time, and nothing my dad does or says will give him the few minutes of pure pleasure back.

When he pulled up in the driveway of my house he walked up to the door with me.

"Thank you." I whispered, feeling the exact same feelings again as when we made out in his car.
I could still feel his hands traveling around my body and his touch, his warmth, his kisses. It was all just too perfect to be captured in words. But the memory will never fade.
Never.

"I'll see you again. Very soon." He said as he leaned closer to me. Our lips brushed against each other's before he just gave me a small kiss. We need to contain the feeling and eagerness to just kiss fully now.
"Adria- you! You, stay away from my daughter!" My dad pushed Shawn off me, making him stumble back off the steps of our front porch. "Dad!" I yelled, grabbing on to his arms and pushing him back to the house.

"Get that garbage off our ground!" He yelled at me, pointing towards Shawn. "The only garbage around here is you." I said at him before ripping my arms out of his grip and walking up to Shawn.
"Adriana what are you doing?" He asked me softly. "I'm coming with you."
"No you're not." I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed together. "They already hate me, I don't need a record against my name for kidnaping."

What?

"I-I but I want to be with you. I don't want to be here." I said, feeling tears in my eyes that he's making me stay here. "Please don't make this harder than it already is. I'll see you tomorrow." He cupped my cheeks, wiping away my falling tears.
What a horrible way to end a perfect day.

"Shawn please don't leave me here."
"I'm sorry Adriana." He kissed me again, my dad screaming and then... he left.
Not even looking back.

If only we can run away...

"I hate you." I spat as I walked past my dad. "That makes two of us." He mumbled as I walkes up the stairs.
Does he actually feel bad for reacting the way he did? I doubt that, highly.

"Hey Adri-"
"No Keegan. Not now." I slammed my door sut and just fell down on my bed. Staring up at the ceiling I closed my eyes again, feeling his hands on my body in the places he touched me, wishing his lips were on mine again, needing his warmth to activate my cold heart.

It only beats when he's around, I only live when he's around.