Changing | SM

Part 111: at last

Adriana:

I cannot believe this.
He proposed, even though he said we can postpone it for later on. That may be the plan because I don't want to see myself squeezing this belly in to a dress.
That may just not be he best picture ever, even though I so deeply want to marry him, make this even more official than it already is.

I can't believe this.
Every night I just stare at my ring, blinking and waiting for me to wake up from the fantasy dream that I'm living. But it's a real dream, that in reality, I'm living.
I am getting married to the love of my life and we're having a baby.

Currently I'm in the hospital, awaiting for the moment to come that our baby will be delivered. Shawn is by my bedside, holding on to my hand and talking me down. I'm a bit scared, not going to lie.
But I know it will all be okay, and everything will go fine... I mean, who isn't a bit scared when it comes to this?

His smile is so reassuring, his hand gripping on to mine and caressing the top with the pad of his thumb.
"Just take deep breaths, darling." He spoke, "Don't be afraid because I'll be right there, directly by your side, never letting go of your hand."
He kissed my forehead just before the doctor walked in, telling me that it's time to go and they wheeled me out of the room to the delivery room.
I know everything will go okay. Everything will be more than fine.

-

We got in the room, Shawn standing beside me with his hand clutched on to mine, never letting go. Like he said. His eyes locked on me with the most amazing smile captured on his lips. "This is exciting." I heard him whisper before his lips connected with mine.

-

a hot sweat breaking out on my forehead and tears rolled down my cheek as I pushed and pushed. Time seems to just stand still in this presence and all around me seems to move in slow motion.

A sudden cry of our baby girl was heard and I saw Shawn just staring at the doctors as I panted for air. His lips slightly parted and his eyes glossy as tears pooled up in them. He clamped his hand over his mouth as he pressed his eyes shut, the tears escaping from his eyes as he sat down in the chair next to my bed.

Covering up his face with his hands as he cried. I reached my hand out to touch him, making him look up at me with the most surrealist smile on his face as he continued crying.

"You did it." He chuckled, kissing my forehead as he brushed the pad of his thumb over my cheek.
"We did it." I sniffed with emotion as he then crashed his lips to mine.

A few minutes or seconds later the nurse came walking up to us with little Skyler in her arms, all wrapped up in a pink blanky. "She's beautiful." She said as she handed her over to me. Shawn sat down beside be, taking her little hand in his as more tears rolled down his cheeks. He never believed this day would come, but here he is.
Fathered up with the most beautiful baby girl.

"She has your eyes." He croaked out looking at her before his eyes traveled down to mine. "Thank you." I said to him in all seriousness.

"Without you I wouldn't be this strong. I'd constantly feel like a failure, doubting all I am, my entire existence. I never felt like I could mean something this big to someone. And your love, that you give me, it's more that what I ever deserved." I took his hand in mine, caressing the top with the pad of my thumb.

"Adriana. Thank you, for making me the man I am now. I was so lost, so scared and so confused. But with you, when I met you, things started to change, I started to change and although I hated it at the beginning... it was so worth it." I handed Skyler over to him, and immediately as she was in his arms, her eyes looked up at him, locking on his.
She was almost looking straight in to his soul, capturing his entire heart.

Smiling a sweet smile as she giggled a small laugh.

"My girl." He whispered, barely audible. But I could hear. And I could hear the proudness in his voice as he looks at her, claiming her as his daughter.
To think he never even wanted this in the first place, but now, I don't see how I'll ever get her out of his arms again.

"I told you." I said weakly, looking up at him. "Told me what?"
"That you'll love her. That you'll be an amazing father and that you will see her as your daughter. You were so scared about all of this, but look how great it is." He smiled surely as his eyes moved from mine back to Skyler's.

"For once I am happy to confess that I was wrong." He chuckled, leaning down and pecking her forehead before planting a kiss on my lips. My life changed when I met him. Through all the ups and downs, through falling in love with someone who didn't even know he had a heart left inside of him.
Now he has a heart bigger than anything.

I fell in love with a man I never even imagined I would love. He's filled up with love and that's all he sees now. Our life from here on can only get better, we're changing for the better where we both were so broken.

Now I can't even see any darkness that wants to get in and break this apart again. This, after all, was meant to be and I can't ever see my life in any other way than it is right now.

I only see him, me and Skyler.
Family.
Love.
Fortune.

This is it, the change we had to undergo to get us where we are. "I love you." He looked down at me, giving me another scorching kiss.

"I love you more."