Changing | SM

Part 43: talking sense

Shawn:

I knew Adriana went to school, but on the last minute of school, I arrived. Only to pick Brian up.
I haven't seen him in a while and I want to tell him everything. He's the only one that might be interested.
He's my only friend.

"Hey man." I gave him a fist bump as he hot in the car.
Just as I took off I saw Adriana walking out of the school. God, she looked so beautiful. She is so beautiful.

I took off and drove to his house, ready to tell him everything. "So what happened to you after I lost the bet. Are you still ruining her?" "Actually... that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He sat down on his bed, showing his interest in the story.

"I uhm... I think I love her, yet I'm so unsure. I was bad, I smoked, I broke the law, I drove too fast for my own good. I didn't care because no one taught me how to and I honestly didn't care. But when it comes to her, I want to be the best man I can be. I couldn't bare the thought of her getting hurt, and even knowing now what she went through... I don't want her to get hurt by anyone... or by me. I will kill to protect her for she cares about someone as worthless as me in all her perfection." He smiled at me.
"I don't know. Like, I want to be friends with her, but how can you simply be friends with someone when everytime you look at them, you're thinking about how much more of them you really want?"

He went silent, and I just looked at him. "You've changed. In a good way. I see someone finally patched up that broken heart in your chest. It sounds to me that you're in love Mendes." He stood up, laughing at me.
"But how will I know? How will I know if it's real and not just me being sad and wanting love to make me feel that I'm okay?" I followed him all the way to the kitchen as I explained to him why I doubt falling in love.

"Okay, hear me out." He turns around, looking at me with a big smile.
"What's the first thing you think about in the mornig and the last thing when you go to bed? Who do you meet up with in your dreams? Where are you when you feel the best, where you feel yourself again and know you're happy? Who do you want to see, every day, and never get bored of their smile, laugh, attention, company and embrace?"
I smiled faintly as my heart skipped a beat. "Adriana?" I nodded.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I just sighed. It's harder to explain than to just feel. I feel shit about it, that I don't know what to do about it or how to tell her that I love her but I am not sure how to do that anymore.
"What's you're biggest fear?" I looked up at him, seeing him waiting in anticipation for my answer.

"That one day I come across what could heal me and in my own madness, I collapse and miss the opportunity." He placed his hand down on my shoulder, smiling at me with a ray of hope in his eyes.
"Trust me, you won't collapse. I can see how she built you up so just go out and love her." But I shook my head.

"There's too much risk in loving." He laughed at me, walking back up to his room with me following behind. "No, there's too much risk in not."

That hit me hard.
He's right.
There is too muck at risk if I don't love her. I could lose her, or I can turn back to the way I was. Feeling the heartbreak and heartache all over again.

"Okay." I smiled, chuckling with joy as I thought about Adriana. I'm going to love her, and show her how much she means to me.

"Have you ever thought about kissing her? I bet you have." We plonked down on his bed. "Actually, uhm... we kissed last night. She made the first move." I whispered to him with a big smile.
"Then what the hell are you on about? She kissed you bro! She likes you!"

"I know, I was just not sure about it so I left it. But you talked some sense in to me. Thanks dude."
"Always." He smiled over to me.

I'm happy to have a friend like him, that no matter how shit I am, he's always there. And I love him for that. I don't know how to thank him.

We playes some video games for a while and my phone went off with a text from Cody. "Seriously?" I mumbled, rolling my eyes. "What's wrong?"
"No, Cody is having another party next Friday, and me being part of the group... I'm practically forced to go." I sighed. "At least you get to go to parties." Brian laughed, continuing with his game. I smiled faintly, getting an idea in my head.

"Do you, uhm.. do you want to come with me next Friday?" I saw the smile on his face growing as he looked over to me. "Heck yeah! But don't leave me okay, I don't want to be there all alone when I came with you."
"I won't. I promise." he bumped my side.
A friend in a million.