DOUBLE EDGED A Harper's Book. (Book 10)

Jet Lagged

Walking into my apartment in Vegas, I thought how good it felt to be back. Slipping from my jacket, I tossed it onto the nearest chair and loosened my tie. My next stop was my bar where I poured myself a generous glass of Jack Daniels. Taking my drink to my living room, I kicked off my shoes and untucked my shirt. Unzipping my pants and releasing my belt buckle, I finally stretched out on the couch.

For several minutes I just sat there staring into space thinking about nothing at all yet everything at once. My mind was a series of open tabs laced with surprise pop ups. I was thinking of my brother Dem and how our relationship had been Rocky since my parent's death. However since my Pape's return thing's have been better. I thought about Severo and how he honored my parent's wishes and taught me well. No, he isn't my Pape but I hold the highest respect for him.

Before my return to Vegas my Pape announced that I was ready for my title here and he will be arriving next week to help me transition. Lastly I thought about my mother and how I missed her laughter, her warmth and the way she would ruffle my hair. Swiping the tears from my eye's, I could recall her voice saying to me. "Your hair is just like your Papes was at this age. You look so much like him, more so than Demarco."

Getting up to refill my glass I returned to the couch. Yep, this has been my life since I turned eighteen. If I wasn't working I was drinking until I couldn't think about that night anymore. Had I not insisted on having my birthday party in New York none of this would have happened. It was all my fault and I should rot in hell for it. I deserve no goodness in life, no happiness. I've became a recluse mostly. Soon as my workday is complete I go home. Occasionally I will go out if the Marrittas invite me but other than that I sit at home drinking my sorrows away.

Finally the dark liqueur begin to numb my mind and and I noticed how quiet my place was. Trying to avoid picking up my phone, I grabbed the remote and turned the television on. Still my mind wandered to a certain red headed woman. No matter what I did I never stopped thinking about her. I hung my head in shame as I recalled the last time I spoke to her. It was my twenty-second birthday and somehow she discovered that. In an attempt to do something for me Ashton had arranged a surprise party for me. Needless to say I showed my ass and humiliated her. The hurt look on her face continues to haunt me. Instead of running out the door after her like I wanted to do, I jumped on my jet and flew straight to New York. That's been several month's ago and I'm just now returning.

It's a good thing I did return when I did because that's when the family fell under attack, Miri was taken and we discovered Pape was alive. There's just something about my birth date. No good has ever came from it. I'm jinxed or some shit. However our new found happiness didn't last long. Mizery fell for Seam O'Mally who in the end reeked havoc. Once thing's calmed down again I returned to Vegas. I've already missed so much work I'll pay hell catching up but tonight I just need to rest, relax and think.

During my absence I never once tried to contact Ashton and surprisingly she didn't contact me either. I must've really blown it this time. Usually she takes a day or two to cool down then comes back around or I send her flowers for an apology. Honestly I can't blame her if she is done. I haven't been nothing but an big ass since day one. We wasn't a couple or anything close to it but when I called she came. Ashton is the closest thing I've ever had to a relationship. I can't deny that she wasn't good to me, in fact she's amazing and if I wasn't so screwed up she very well could be my one but I have too many reservations. For one I don't deserve love, happiness or anything of the sort. Because of my spoiled ways I hurt my family. I'm just as guilty of murdering my mother and my Pape's disappearance so I punish myself.

I do feel for Ashton yet will never commit to her. When I feel myself becoming too comfortable or feeling happy I lash out at her, push her away. No, she doesn't deserve this. Ashton is beautiful inside out. She's sweet, innocent and so caring. She's a very smart woman as well as independent. Never had she asked me for a thing or demanded that I commit, yet she sticks by my side. I don't offer her anything. Basically she comes over, I get some then we lounge around watching t.v. or talking. Sometimes she might stay a few day's but then I found a way to send her off, usually in tears. Why she keeps coming back is beyond my know but she does. I'll offer a few sweet word's and then everything goes back to normal until I feel myself needing her then I lash out. Once I even told her that she wasn't good enough for me, that I was only using her to pass boredom. Of course that wasn't true but she doesn't know that.

Ashton is so forgiving... Too forgiving. Truth be told, I don't deserve her. She deserves someone who will respect her and treat her well, not my sudden outbursts and anger. Besides she has no inkling that I'm the next mafia king. I'm sure that would freak her out and be the straw that breaks the camels back. Ashton thinks I own and operate casino's and dabble in real estate. I'm not exactly sure what Ashton does for a living but whatever it is it must provide well. She is always dressed nice, drives a BMW and has never asked me for money. I've never asked her anything about herself simply because I assumed the less I knew the less likely I'd get attached. Basically I just know her name and that's it. Our conversations normally consist of talking about thing's going on in the world, what type of take -out to order in and naughty bedroom talk. Never have I taken her out on a date of our period for that matter. I try my best to make her see that I have no intentions of keeping her around other than just a fuck buddy. Yet she lingers.

I should really just leave her alone this time, let her find someone who is interested in all that commitment shit. The more I fought not contacting her the stronger the urge got. In the end I lost and looked up my contacts. It's been months and I was in desperate need of a lay. I could kick her back to the curb in the morning. Hitting send I was someone shocked to find her number blocked. I guess I really did do it this time. Ashton finally had enough and went on her way. I wanted to be mad but I couldn't because I didn't blame her. This was best for the both of us. However it was an odd feeling knowing that I'd never see her again.

Removing my semi-drunk self from the couch, I poked along to my bedroom. Without turning the light on, I passed by my bed and went to the bathroom. As I flicked the bathroom light on something odd caught my eye in my bedroom. Stepping out of my bathroom I looked more closely. "What the fuck?" I gasped running to turn the bedroom light on.

I then raced to the farthest wall where my safe was. I stared at the door that was hanging wide open. Feeling sick to my stomach, I peeked inside of the safe to discover all of my money gone. The only thing that remained was a few important documents. "Fuck". I boomed.

Retrieving my phone I called my top man. "Yes Boss".

" Seems there has been a breach in security along with a robbery. Get the other's and get here".

Without waiting for his reply I disconnected and slammed my phone down on the bed. My mind begin to race with possible suspects but no one but my men had been in my apartment and they didn't even know about my hidden safe. One thing is certain though.... I will kill the person responsible.