It's Back

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"I went to the PC because the doctors needed to see me about my bloodwork." Turning as he stopped I saw his eyes full of tears.

"Joe-"

"It's back." He said his voice breaking. "My Leukemia, it came back."

"What?" I said shocked.

"I, the leukemia is back."

"I- are you ok?"

"What?" He asked.

"Are you ok? How bad is it, what are they doing, what do you need me to do?" I started rambling and stopped when he started smiling. "What?"

"I love you."

"What? I love you too."

"It's just your so amazing I just dropped something huge on you and the first thing you think of like always is everyone else."

"That's because it's not about me, do the kids know, the family, what about work?"

I stopped rambling as Joe grabbed my face. He looked worried and I finally noticed his bronze skin looking a bit more yellow tinted then normal. How did I not see something was wrong with him. I mean he had been feeling more tired but I just thought he wasn't resting enough and all the things being on the road brings, not this. I bit my lip willing the tears wanting to form to stop, he didn't need me to cry, he needed me to be strong; but that fear still crept in my mind that something bad could happen to him.

"Baby it's just about as much you as well, your my wife. This affects you and our children just as much as me. Please tell me what is going on in your head." Looking in his eyes I saw the tears.

"I, you need me to be the strong one."

"Jayla you have been the strongest person in the world since we met. Don't shut me out."

"I don't, I'm scared I could lose you. I can't deal with that." I said as I felt tears fall. Joe hugged me to him and I felt his tears hitting my shoulder.

I'm not sure how long we stood there in the kitchen holding one another and crying, just trying to process this information.

I was terrified at the possibility of losing him, any form of cancer isn't a joke

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I was terrified at the possibility of losing him, any form of cancer isn't a joke. I really didn't know how to do life without him anymore. I just lost my eduda two months ago and now this. We visited kids all the time who had illnesses, cancer. I always admired that the ones going through what he did he always shared his story, talked to them. I didn't want to ever see a world where his handsome face, his beautiful smile, that kind, loving soul wasn't in it. We just had kids 5 months ago, the thought of him not seeing them or our other three children grow made me cry. We couldn't make it without him, hell his family just lost Matt not long ago. After who knows how long we pulled apart and Joe kissed me. We walked in the living room sitting on the couch and he pulled me into him. I loved our big comfy couch, the chaise being my favorite and the over sized ottoman. Joe laid down placing his head in my lap and I played with his hair.

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