Sarah Paulson Mental Health & Smut Oneshots

Cordelia

⚠️Tw for eating disorders⚠️

  You have been dealing with eating disorders for a while. You've lost a lot of weight but not as much as you should've by now. You feel like a failure.

  You've been not eating to lose the weight and sometimes exercising but you're to depressed so you end up not continuing to workout and then feel really bad about it.

  All the sudden the past couple of days you've been buying junk food like brownies and muffins and eating them all at once.

  You don't know why, you've never dealt with binging before.

  You don't eat all day and then you binge on almost 2,000 calories all at once.

  You feel so gross and your stomach is feeling bloated.

  Right now it's about six in the morning and you are sitting on your bed stuffing your snacks down your throat wishing you could throw them up but you can't.

  You've tried everything and nothing you do can make you purge.

  Your about half way when there's a knock at your door. You don't hear it because you're focused but then you hear the second one that's a little louder.

  You quickly throw your blanket over everything and yell, "Come in."

  Cordelia walks in with a smile and asks, "Hey Y/N I saw your light on, you not usually up this early, is everything okay?"

  You nod and a tear falls down your face and you try to stop yourself because you hate crying in front of others because it's embarrassing but also you don't want her to think anything is wrong. You can handle this on your own.

  She says worried, "Oh honey what's wrong?" She closes the door and drags your desk chair to the side of your bed and puts her hand on top of yours.

  You say though tears, "I'm fine." She says sweetly, "Please tell me what's wrong, I just want to help."

  You take a deep breath and say, "I um, just um, have been struggling with my um, eating lately."

  She sits on the other side of your bed and holds out her arms and says, "Come here."

  You put your head on her chest, swing your legs to the side, and she begins to stroke your hair. You sniffle and continue, "Lately I've been eating a lot in the morning and then not much during the day and it just makes me feel so gross."

  She says, "I'm sorry sweetie." You add, "I just feel so numb and like it's never going to get better. I feel so fat like I'm going to explode."

  She replies, "It will get better. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will. You are not disgusting. You are beautiful and also so much more than your outward appearance. You're smart, kind, and all around a great person. Let me help you. We'll set a meal list for the day and eat together. You don't even always have to eat at every meal. Let me help you Y/N."

  You sniffle and respond, "Okay, thank you Cordelia." She answers, "Of course, I'm always here for you." She kisses the top of your head.

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I've been dealing with some eating disorder stuff for a long time and this kind of helped me get it off my chest. I hope you enjoyed reading.

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