Sarah Paulson Mental Health & Smut Oneshots

TB Karen 3/3

⚠️TW: Homophobia & Self Harm

Word count: 725
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I grab my razor and tissues. My internalized homophobic starts screaming at me so once again, I start cutting lines into my arm. Blood seeps out of my cuts and a tiny wave of clamness washes over me. After I'm finished I hold the tissues on the cuts to attempt to stop the bleeding.

Once it does, after I put my razor back, I decide that I can't live here anymore, I can't come out and ask them to stop saying these things around me because they'll kick me out so I decide to kick me out.

I grab a suitcase and start packing. Once I'm finished I dry my tears and head downstairs. I still have all their bank information so I can keep using some of their money when I leave is my plan. I place my luggage infront of the door and walk into the living room.

  My parents are still sitting there and I say in a serious voice, "I need your attention." They both look at me and my dad asks, "What is it?" I gulp and answer, "What I am about to say is the hardest thing I'm ever going to say so please don't be so hard on me."

My mom says, "We would never be terribly hard on you." Oh, just you wait. I say, "I get really upset when you make homophobic comments in front of me because I'm gay. I like girls and I always have. I've never liked boys and I never will."

My mom says huffy, "Y/n this isn't funny." I respond, "It's not a joke. I'm dead serious. I am that scary horrible word to you LESBIAN."

My dad says with a shiver, "Y/n, you know we can't have a homosexual living under this roof, I can't have all that gayness in my house."

I reply, "That's fine, I don't want to keep living here anyways, I've already packed my bag, I'm leaving right now. I've even got my birth certificate and social security number, you know and the rest of the documents I need so I never have to see you again."

My mom starts to cry asking, "I can't believe you're doing this to me. You're making me so upset, why would you be like this when you know how we view things?"

I answer, "Because it's not a freaking choice mom!" My dad says, "Where are you going to stay then, we're not giving you money, I can tell you that right now."

I respond, "I've been actually saving for a long ass time incase something like this happened, I'll be fine, goodbye mother and father."

I walk away and out the door. Before closing the door, I throw my keys down on the floor, hard. I walk to a curb on another street in my neighborhood and once I sit, I call Karen."

She answers with, "Hey baby." I sniffle and cry and asks concerned, "Oh no! Y/n what's wrong?" I ask, "I'll um explain later, do you mind picking me up?" She replies, "Darling of course, I'll be right there." I say before hanging up, "Thank you."

I cry and stare into nothingness while waiting for her to drive up. Once I see her car, I stand up and open the door. I put my suitcase in the back and sit in the passengers seat.

She puts her hand on my knee and asks me with my hands folded in my lap and my head down, "What happened? Why do you have a suitcase?"

I reply, "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Karen." She replies, "Why are you sorry, baby tell me what happened." I answer, "I cut again, I'm sorry." She tears up and responds, "It's okay."

I continue, "They were saying homophobic things again and it triggered me. I just can't take it anymore! So I packed my things and told them and before they could kick me out, I kicked myself out."

She says, "Oh my god, Y/n, I'm so sorry." I ask, "Can you please drive me to a hotel?" She responds, "No, you're staying in your room at my place." I say, "Thanks." She kisses my forehead and responds, "Of course. I love you." I say, "I love you too."