Sarah Paulson Mental Health & Smut Oneshots

Sally

⚠️Suicide attempt & Cutting

Word count: 790
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I wake up and look at the clock, 10:30am. I'm supposed to be in class right now but i'm not going today, or ever again actually. Today is my sucide plan day. I've been dealing with my mental health for way to many years now and I just can't live like this anymore, i'm so tired.

I get out of bed and change into my favorite outfit that I want to die in, a black t-shirt and green free city sweatpants. I don't bother with my hair or makeup but grab my razor from the bathroom and put it in my pocket. I go ahead and walk downstairs.

I have a restrictive eating disorder so it's hard for me to eat but not today. On my plan was to binge all my favorite foods that I bought yesterday and just eat them till I feel so sick. The scales don't matter anymore since i'll be gone very soon.

I start binging and watch youtube on my phone for a bit before ordering an uber. A few minutes later, the app says he's arrived so I head outside and open the car door, in the back passengers seat. I climb in and shut the door behind me.

We don't talk much during the ride. He was trying to have small talk but I don't say anything after my answer so he was asking all the questions. I'm not really shy I just don't want to talk but he didn't get the hint.

We arrive at the place i've choosen to end it all, this beat up old hotel. When I was looking online for hotels to do this at, this one just stuck out to me.

I get out of the car and walk inside. This lady which really fun fashion, gives me a key to my room and I head up there. I open the door and walk into the bathroom.

I look at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath before sitting on the tile floor and grabbing my razor out of my pocket. I hold out my arm and slice it trying to hold in my screams. I start crying and do the same to the other side. I drop the razor onto the ground and wait to passout. Everything starts to get blurry and my eyes close. I slip into darkness.

I wake up laying on a mattress in my room and look over to see a women sewing my arms up. She looks to be almost done with my second one, so she's almost finished.

I look at her and ask, "What the hell are you doing?" She replies, "Saving your life, you're welcome by the way." I roll my eyes and say, "I definitely didn't say thank you. If you didn't get the hint, I don't want anyone to save me, I want to die."

She responds, "I saved you because trust me, you don't want to die here. You don't want to be stuck like me here for the rest of fucking eternity as a ghost." I scoff and ask, "Why would you make something up like that? Ghosts aren't real." She replies, "I wish they weren't, because i'd rather be anywhere else."

I ask, "So why me? Why did you save me?" She answers, "A pretty girl like you doesn't deserve to die and have to stay and a scary place like this." I roll my eyes. She says, "All done." I reach over and start picking at her work and she says, "Hey, I worked hard on those sutures, i'm going to have to tie you up now since you can't behave."

  She literally picks me up and moves me to the front of the bed before grabbing fluffy hand cuffs from the drawer. Once she cuffs me to the bed I ask, "Are you actually serious?" She climbs on top of me and leans down to my face, noses almost touches, and answers, "Very serious babygirl."

  I blush and she chuckles saying, "Ah you like that don't you." She attaches her lips to mine and our lips instantly sync. She shoves her tongue in my mouth and I moan. Once we need air, she breaks the kiss and bites her lip.

  She says, "Tell me you love me." I give her a confused look and ask, "I'm sorry?" She replies grabbing a hold of my throat, "Tell me, that you love me." I respond scared but turned on, "Okay, I love you Sally."

  She smiles through tears that are now falling down her face. She strokes my cheek and lays her head on my chest saying, "Go to sleep now baby."