Sarah Paulson Mental Health & Smut Oneshots

Ms. Venable

⚠️TW: Cutting & sucidal thoughts & attempt?

Word count: 1,090

AN: This is kind of inspired by me going off my med three months ago because they weren't doing much and I become really sucidal again. I'm back on now and still fell horrible but at least those thoughts are gone. I really hope you friends have a nice rest of your day/night.🙂🧡
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I'm sitting in my car parked on the side of the road when I get a call from my girlfriend. I decide when it almost goes to voicemail to answer. I wipe my tears and sniffle as I put her on speaker.

  I ask chuckling while crying, "Hey babe, what's up?" She replies worried, "Are you okay? What's going on? You know you can talk to me y/n." I answer, "Oh it's just um, I went off my meds and didn't tell you. I thought i'd be okay, they weren't working anyway, well so I thought haha. So i've been so much worse lately and i'm out doing errands and almost drove myself into a tree haha. I had to pull over to calm down."

  She says crying, "Oh my god! Y/n I need you to share your location with me right now. I'm going to come to you okay. I'll hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear okay. Please don't die, I love you. I can't live without you."

  I respond, "No Mina because you deserve better than me. I'm always burdening you with my mental health problems and it's not fair to you to always be worried and have to take care of me. You deserve better."

  I she says sobbing now, "Please please don't leave me, please please I love you. You ARE NOT a burden! Do you hear me! I love being with you. You make me so incredibly happy. I can't lose you please. Share your location with me."

  I reply, "Fine." I share my location with her and she says, "Thank you baby, thank you so much. I'm on my way okay, i'm leaving work right now. Stay on the phone with me please." I respond, "Okay." I mute the phone and grab my little tool from the glove compartment to break the window.

  Once I do, I grab a peice of the glass and unmute the phone. I lift up my sleeve and slice down my arm. It hurts a lot more than expected so I accidentally scream out, "Ouch fuck!" I hear Mina ask, "Y/n? What's going on? What are you doing?"

  I keep cutting down my arm and reply, "I'm just cutting a little, it's okay, i'm fine." She asks with so much panic in her voice, "Y/n, which way honey?" I don't answer and asks again, "Y/n, which way?" I quickly respond, "I um, um, i'm cutting um, down." I hear her hyperventilating as she sobs more and I say, "Mina no it's okay."

  She says scared, "Please please stop! I need you to grab napkins from the glove compartment okay. Please try to stop the bleeding for me please. I love you so much please please don't die. Y/n please!" I grab the napkins and press them against the cut and reply, "Fine, the napkins are on."

  I see her car pull up behind me and she rushes out and open the driver's seat door. She places kisses over my face as she dials 911. I go into panic mode and ask, "What, what are doing?" She says, "Baby i'm sorry, you need medical attention. Please don't be mad at me."

  I roll my eyes and look away from her as I take the napkins off my arm. The blood starting pouring out again. She's answering the operator's questions and sees what I did and quickly places them back on as I fight her to get them off.

I say crying, "I can't keep fighting, Mina I am so fucking tired." She wins and keep the napkin on me. She's off the phone now and I know an ambulance is coming for me soon. I start to feel really dizzy and my eyes feel heavy.

Mina yells with her voice breaking, "NO NO NO, Baby please, eyes open please! I need you please don't, please don't, I love you!" I nod feeling guilty that i'm making her so sad and scared. I hear the sirens get louder. I see in the review mirror emts running up to the car.

Since the window is broken, they don't have to open the car just yet, they can speak to us first. They ask Mina what's the situation and she explains quickly. One says, "We're going to put you on a stretcher ma'am, okay." I nod slowly. He opens the car door and picks me up to lay me down on the stretcher, since i'm to weak to walk.

Mina quickly runs up to the ambulance and gets in. She sits behind me in a seat and they load me in. One girl tries to put an IV in my arm to give me medicine and I fight her saying, "Get off me!" They strap me down and Mina stands up and puts her hand in mine.

We arrive at the hospital and they take me to a room where they suture up my arm and give me a blood transfusion. I fall asleep and wake up a little later. A nurse comes in to give me a snack and juice. I ask him, "Can I see her?" He nods and responds, "Yes i'll go get your Wilhelmina."

He walks back in a few minutes later and I see her standing next to him. She puts her hand over her mouth as she cries. She sits down in the chair next to me and I say tearing up, "I'm sorry." She sniffles and replies, "Hey it's okay, i'm just happy you're going to be okay, I love you so so much."

I respond, "I love you too." I grab her hand and say trying to lighten the mood, "The goldfish was good but the apple juice box wasn't, I don't like that specific flavor." She lightly chuckles and replies, "I'll go request for you to have some gatorade, I know you like the fruit punch flavor." She starts to stand up but I say, "No need to move, I have a button." I press the nurse station button and request some.

She smiles as she sniffles, "I'm glad you're getting your gatorade."