Sirius Black | Omnia Vincit Amor ✓

Chapter 90: Broken

- October 28th 1981 -

~ Mathilda POV ~

I was running, running as quick as I could. He was behind me. So close I could feel his breath on my skin. The branches poked into my feet, ripping them open. I left a trail of blood behind me, while I sprinted through the dark forest. Barefoot. It was raining, my hair clutched to my face. Peter ran next to me, he shouted something but I couldn't make out the words.

And then there was Bellatrix. She was in front of me, firing spells at us. Sirius tried to fight her. He fired spells at her, Peter fell to the ground. I kept on running. Travers shouted something and Sirius broke down next to me. He sank to the ground. Was he dead? I saw the light vanish from his eyes while I kept running. Why was I not stopping? An arm gripped me and pulled me back. I looked into his eyes. The Dark Lords eyes. I felt like fainting. I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs, when I felt a hand gripping my throat. I couldn't breath anymore. He choked me. I tried to scream-when-

"Pup, pup. Wake up. Love, please wake up. Mathilda! MATHILDA!" Sirius shouted, hovering over me. I shot up. Drenched in sweat, completely exhausted and my mouth dry. "It was a nightmare. Calm down. I got you. Please come down. I am here," Sirius whispered into my hair, while pulling me to his chest.

"Sirius, I can't do this anymore! Everyone is dying! Everyone!" I cried out, tears flowing down my cheeks while I started shaking. 

"I know, it breaks me too. But we need to be strong. We need to fight. We need to keep fighting. We need to end this." I looked into his eyes, mine were burning with tears, I swallowed hard, catching my breath.
"Sirius, I cannot forget it. The pictures. The come back every night. Marlene. Marlene dead when we arrived. Dorcas taking her last breath. I should have done something. Why did he not kill me? Why did they kill her and Dorcas and Julie?" I choked on my words, my throat burning while the tears rolled out of my eyes uncontrollably. My heart clenched even more, my stomach coiling.

Marlene and Dorcas had been killed and we arrived too late to save them. Cold blooded murder. They were killed. Dead. Two of my best friends. Dead. The words echoed through me. Their dead faces haunted me, kept me sleepless. It was not only Marlene and Dorcas, but Marlene's whole family. Travers killed them. Killed them all.

I reached over to the night stand, grabbing a photograph. A photograph of the Order. My tears fell on it while I ran my thumb over it.

Julie.

Marlene.

Dorcas.

Sirius tried to grab the picture but I clung to it. He was strong. He tried to be strong. But I wasn't. I tried. But I did not manage.

"I have to-" I huffed, jumping up and running towards the bathroom. I hung myself over the toilet, throwing up everything I had eaten. Which was an apple. These days were terrible. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was mourning and grieving.

Sirius came up behind me, crouched down behind me, grabbed my hair in his fist and held them back. I completely emptied my stomach. "This has to end!" I cried out and I felt him stroke my back. "It will end, love. It will end. We will win this and put an end to it. Everything will be fine. I promise," he told me but the uncertainty was obvious in his voice.

More and more people disappeared lately or went into hiding.

My grandfather for example. Somewhere only my mother knew. Andrew and I did not know. I was relieved that he was safe, but I was more than worried for my mother, who over and over assured me that she will be fine. She was terrified that something would happen to me. Her and Andrew were also hiding from time to time.