Dawsey: Raising a Family Part 1

Chapter 352

An hour later when Matt is done in the water with Louie:
Matt's POV:
As I bring Louie out to Gabby, I can't help but smile because we just had a bunch of fun in the water. But, something I did notice was that I haven't seen Jay in a while. "Hey Erin, you see Jay anywhere? I haven't seen him since he hit Louie with the football." Gabby then looked at me. "He's fine. Oh and where's Kelly?" Erin then looked at me. "He's talking to him at the lifeguard lookout. He's been feeling guilty since then." I nodded and sighed. "I might've blown up on him."

Erin sighed when I said that. "Can you go talk to him then?" I nodded and agreed with her. "Of course. I will get him for you." Erin nodded and agreed when I said that. Grabbing my towel, I went to walk to the lifeguard lookout so that I could go talk to Jay and try to make things right. Walking up to the lifeguard lookout, I looked at Jay. "I come in peace. Mind if I come join you up there and we can talk?" Jay then turned to look at me and nodded when I said that. "Sure."

Going to join him on the lifeguard lookout, I went to stand next to rub and rubbed his back. "Listen, I am sorry about blowing up like that. It's just...I get protective over Louie sometimes. He's my son and you never want to see your kids hurt. It breaks my heart to have to see him cry sometimes." Jay nodded when I said that. "And I get that. I guess, it's just starting to make me question how good of a dad I am going to be. I mean, I hurt your kid. Will I hurt mine too?"

Looking at him when he said that, I was shocked. "Hey Jay, look at me. I'm sorry if I am making you feel that way but...you can't think that way. I see how you play with Louie, you are so cute. Honestly, he loves to play with you and I never want you to ever think that you are going to be a bad dad just because you made a mistake. If I made you feel that way because I blew up on you...I am really sorry because that was not my intent. Like I said, I am protective of him."

Jay then sighed when I said that. "Matt, you have no idea what I am thinking about though. I have PTSD at night sometimes. What if I flail my arm and hit one of the twins? Does that make me a bad dad?" I then shook my head when he asked me that. "No, it makes you human. Jay, you can't think that way. Believe me, you think it's easy being a dad? I may make it look easy but it's hard. Like I said in the water, you are going to need to work on getting close to your kids."

Jay sighed again and looked at me. "Matt, my PTSD though..." I then went to rub his back. "Is another part of you that they are going to learn to love and understand. Think of it this way...how can your kids be mad at you for having PTSD when it's because you put your life on the line to fight for their freedom and safety? That's how I see it. Jay, you have PTSD for a reason...because you did something selfless for the entire country. Your kids will be proud."

Jay's POV:
When Matt brought up the fact that my kids will be proud of me because I went to serve our country and did something selfless...I felt a little better but still sighed. "I just hate the idea that I already hurt your kid and that I might do the same to my kid. And it wouldn't even be my fault." Matt sighed when I said that. "If you want me to tell you that it will be your fault, I'm not going to do that because it isn't going to be your fault Jay. You have PTSD...that's why you do it at night."

I turned to look at him and sighed. "How do you do it man...how do you just say this so easily?" Matt then sighed as he looked at me. "Because I know what it's like to have a bad dad. And you Jay, you don't have those personality traits. The two of us...we serve our country and the citizens of Chicago, putting our lives on the line on a daily basis." I then sighed. "I am going to tell you something Jay that very few people know. It will make you understand my reasoning."

I then went to look at him, confused. Matt however just sighed. "My father abused me when I was kid. Verbally, emotionally, physically and almost sexually. He abused my mom sexually, I know that. So believe me when I say this man...I know the traits of a bad dad. And knowing that...I can already tell that your twins are going to be the second luckiest set of twins born this year." I then looked at him when he said that. "Who are the luckiest set of twins born this year?"

Matt then smiled at me. "You really think that I am going to call anybody other than my twins the luckiest set of twins born this year?" I nodded and smiled when he said that before going to slap his arm. "I should've expected that." Matt nodded and smiled. "Jay, believe me when I say this...you are not going to be a bad dad! You are going to be a great dad who loves his ids and takes care of them to the best of his ability. Also, your father-in-law is Hank Voight."

I then looked at him when he said that. "What does that have anything to do with me being a good dad?" Matt then smiled when I said that. "Dude, the minute you do something wrong...you are going to get an earful from him. Then, you are never going to make that mistake again. Believe me, just do whatever Hank would want you to do and you are going to be a great dad." I laughed when he said that and agreed with him. "Wow, that is a great piece of advice."

Matt then nodded when I said that and smiled. "It's the opposite for me though. I just say what would my dad do and do the opposite." I nodded when he said that. "By the way, I  heard you got a half-sister...did we talk about that?" Matt then shook his head. "You know Andy Darden? He died at Firehouse 51?" I nodded and looked at him. "Yeah." I then smiled. "His widow is my half-sister through an affair. And she thought that my mom was my dad's mistress at the time."

Looking at Matt when he said that, I was shocked. "Holy shit, talk about crazy family tree." I nodded when he said that. "And of course, you already know about Antonio and Gabby's half-sister when their dad had an affair." I nodded and agreed with him. "I swear, if my mom had an affair or even if my mother-in-law did and had a kid, I am going to freaking scared! I mean, both my father and father-in-law both have had affairs and children with their mistresses!"

I laughed when he said that and nodded. "Believe me, I feel the same way. I am positive that I have a half-sibling out there somewhere. My dad was a deadbeat and had affairs with other women. It wasn't a secret in our home." That's when I (unfortunately) head my brother walk up to me. "What's this about dad possibly having an affair and us having a secret half-sibling?" I sighed when I turned to look at my brother who was still wearing his scrubs and a mask.

Will's POV:
As I walked up to Jay and Matt, I wondered why they were talking about me and Jay's dad and us possibly having a secret half-sibling. "Still waiting for an answer." Matt then sighed. "Me and Gabby both learned that our fathers had affairs and we both have new half-sisters." Jay then looked at me and sighed. "I was just saying that there has to be a possibility that dad had an affair and we have a half-sibling out there somewhere. Please tell me you believe that!"

I nodded when Jay said that and smiled. "By the way Matt, I heard you moved houses?" Matt nodded when I asked him that. "Yeah, I became the new Chief at Firehouse 71. They merged Firehouse 20 and Firehouse 51 into a new big mega-house in a brand new facility. They asked me to be the Chief." I nodded when he said that. "Yeah, I spoke to O'Connor, your Shift 2 PIC." Matt nodded and agreed with me. "Will, I know who O'Connor is. I know all my staff at the house."

I nodded when he said that. "Sorry, just making sure you knew." Matt nodded and agreed with me when I said that. I was then about to say something when I was interrupted. "Daddy, washroom!" Matt then laughed and agreed as he walked over to Louie and went to pick him up. "Sure thing little man." He then went to kiss his head and smiled. "Does your mama know that you came over here to go to the washroom?" Louie shook his head when Matt asked him that.

Matt sighed when he did that. "Jay, can you text Gabby that I have Louie and we are going to the washroom?" Jay nodded and agreed when Matt said that. Matt then went to walk away to take Louie to the washroom while Jay sent Gabby a text.