old cringe sapnap oneshots

💚Two idots pt3✨

CW: Alcohol and disgraceful tacos

Meanwhile, Sapnap had got up and found the kitchen, opened the fridge and dug through all the cupboards with no luck "AARGH, why is everything empty? All you have is stale cereal and fucking POTATOES!?" Dream dumped the luggage on the couch and went over to Sapnap "Because I don't live here, I normally stay on the campus but I chill here on holidays"

Sapnap just stared at him, dumbfounded "Good for you, I need to get home now though, my girlfriend is probably missing me... wait, my ex girlfriend is missing me" Dream sighed "Is that why you were out drinking with a suitcase of personal belongings? Wow, great choice"

Sapnap slapped his wrist and whined "Come ooooooooonnnn, I just want one can of monster ultra and maybe something to eat" the blonde thought for a bit "Look, I'll go out and buy you the stupid drink, you can drink it and then go sleep in the guest room" Sapnap nodded eagerly

"Alright, I'm trusting you not to burn my house down alright? Don't let me down" Dream said sternly "I promise I won't *hic* burn my house down" Sapnap replied, eyes glazing over as he plopped himself down on the cold kitchen tiles. Good enough. Dream decided and pet him on the head before grabbing his keys and getting back into his car, grumbling under his breath

*---*

Dream looked around the store, scanning the aisles for the can of monster that Sapnap wanted "What type did he want again? Eh, he won't be able to tell" He grabbed the first one he saw and set it down on the countertop "Good evening" the girl behind the register said cheerfully, swiping the drink over the built-in barcode scanner "Is that all you're getting today?" Dream nodded "Yeah, this is it"

"That comes to a total of 1.99$ today, thank you" he tossed her a two dollar coin and grabbed the can of monster "Thanks!" he called over his shoulder as he headed back out to his car, the can cold and weighty in his hand. He put on some music in the background as he drove back home, eyelids drooping as he tried to stay awake but the drink seemed like it was ice cold and kept his mind clear

Eventually, he got back to the house and pulled the front door open, expecting the fire alarm to be ringing but everything seemed fine, the air was fresh and he didn't hear any screams so he went to the kitchen but Sapnap wasn't sitting in his original spot anymore. The ravenette had his back to Dream but was obviously holding a plate of something "Sapnap?" Dream asked warily, the boy turned around, a lopsided grin on his face "Dreamy~ I made foooooooood!" The blonde looked at Sapnap's hands, there was a plate of... taco shells?

"Why did you try to make tacos? I have nothing to put in the-" Sapnap shushed him by putting a finger to his lips "Tacos!"

Dream frowned "What did you put in them?" Sap handed him one and he looked down at the 'food item' the taco shell was completely dry and empty "What the hell?" he said, looking back up at Sapnap, the ravenette was rolling on the floor and clutching his stomach as he laughed like he was high on laughing gas. Really, really strong laughing gas "You could have at least put SOMETHING in it" Dream grumbled

Sap giggled, stood up and turned back to the tray of taco shells, grabbed another one and handed it to Dream while simultaneously taking the original 'taco' Dream looked down at it and sighed, it was filled with the stale cornflakes he had in his cupboard, somewhere "Really mature of you" Dream tried to act angry but laughed as well "You need to go shopping dude" Sapnap gasped out "Yeah I know, moron" Dream replied

Sapnap leaned back against the cupboard, eyes glazed and mouth slightly agape "Uhhh Sap? You alright there dude?" Sapnap blinked a couple of times and looked around, regaining his bearings "Wow, your eyes are like little balls of grass, how are they so light? Also where is my guitar? I really need it- I'm hungry, do you think dry tacos are any good?"

"I don't kn-"

"What would tacos without the filling be called... Dry tacos? Tacos but no aco, only T" he cleared his throat "Yes dear, dinner is ready now... What's wrong with your dinner? Do you not like your T, should I heat it up for you!? Fucking dumbass"

Dream put the monster into the fridge and dumped the makeshift tacos in the bin before turning back to the drunk "Come on, it's time for bed, buddy" Sapnap stifled a yawn but did the signature 'I'm tired' stretch "Mhmmm" he replied and put his arms up, Dream internally groaned but bent down and picked him up, the boy's legs wrapped around his waist while the arms hung over his shoulders, he hefted the black haired individual up and tiredly carried him to the top of the stairs, then to the guest bedroom

He grabbed one of his singlets, swapped it with Sap's current shirt and laid him down on the bed. Sap proceeded to pull the duvet up to his chest so Dream tucked him in and ruffled his fluffy, black hair. Sap smiled sleepily, eyes fluttering, and Dream kissed him gently on the forehead "Goodnight, Pandas, I missed you" before flicking the lights off and shutting the door but left it open an inch with the hallway lamp on just in case he wakes up in the middle of the night

Dream headed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, fidgeting and hopping from foot to foot as he counted two minutes. Afterwards, he went to his own room and shut the curtains before changing into his usual sleepwear, shorts and sometimes a singlet/t-shirt of some kind, and slipped into bed