old cringe sapnap oneshots

💚Oh... Who is she...💔✨

CW//Gender dysphoria

A/N I write story, I take story, I squish one chapter into this, you read, I go back to writing.

As he looked into the mirror, dropping his phone down, the more distorted his own face became with each passing second, leaving him to stare at somebody that wasn't even him. Sapnap shuddered but couldn't pull his eyes away, slowly reaching up and feeling his face as he watched the reflection do the same... Was it even his reflection? The woman staring back at him was familiar but it wasn't him... Was it?

A dry sob escaped from his throat as he clutched the edges of the sink, blaming the blurring of the lines on the fact that he'd let his hair grow out again...

I... I look like a girl again... I should cut it short.

You were always a girl anyways... Leave it.

Maybe I can make a quick appointment with my barber and get it cut as soon as possible...

You're not a boy... You don't deserve to cut it.

Surely he'd understand, right? And I could pay a lot extra just for being annoying and asking to get it cut today, he probably wouldn't have too many other clients, it's a weekday.

You're faking it, you're lying to yourself and everyone else, you're just doing it for attention...

No, no i'm not! I'm not a girl, never have been and never will be...

You mutilated your chest all for nothing, nobody will love you now, they only ever loved your body...

I-...

Fucking bratty little attention seeker... Your parents were right, you're useless.

I-i'm not doing it for attention... I'm doing it for myself...

Are you really? Or are you just telling yourself that to make you feel better!?

Am I really..? Yes... Yes I am, I am who I am... And that's all that matters

Sapnap cracked his eyes open and focused on his breathing, looking up to realise that he could finally look into the mirror without retching, the black haired boy with damp eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks was the figure staring back, not some little girl with a bruised face, not some distorted misconceptualized version of his past self. He let out a quiet sigh as he felt some tension start to lift from his body, letting him breathe properly once again.

He released his balled up hand to free up his fist, using it to brush his fingers over the razor on the side of the sink, he hadn't used it in a while so there was a fine layer of stubble coating his lower face. Sapnap grinned uneasily as he shifted his fingers up to rub the light fuzz, he liked to know that he could actually grow a decent amount of facial hair but he decided that he'd probably shave again before he left, remembering how itchy the hair on his chin made him.

Sapnap grabbed his phone off of the counter again and made his way out of the bathroom, wanting to be away from anything that showed his reflection, so he headed towards his bedroom and curled up on top of the mattress, laying on the blankets instead of under them. Dream answered the call pretty quickly and was swift to talk. "Hey, Sapnap, what's up?" He asked casually, trying not to overload him with paranoid questions and end up with the boy just ending the call immediately.

"Hey... Ummm, Dream, I have a question..." He replied nervously, trying to ramp up some excitement in his voice but his throat just wasn't having it, almost closing up immediately. "Yeah, sure, ask away." The blonde smiled. "Would... Umm... Would you consider letting me stay with you, if I came down and moved to Florida, because houses are expensive and the only alternative is Punz's house which has literally zero furniture..." He said, voice just barely surpassing a whisper and picking up on his phone's internal mic.

"Sure! Of course, dude, i've got plenty of spare empty rooms that you could stay in if you really wanted to," Dream replied. "One for you to dump all of your streaming stuff in and one for you to actually have as a room, y'know, and i've got the same for George when he gets his visa as well! It's the Dream Team house, of course you're welcome to move down here."

Sapnap grinned. "Wait- really? You've just got, like, four empty rooms in your house right now?" Dream nodded. "Yup, well, more like five... I've got an actual guest room for when one of my family members comes over to visit and maybe stay for a couple nights.

"Well then- yeah, hell yeah, i'll drive down there and join the Dream Team house!," Sapnap laughed happily. "That'll be awesome... Just let me pack my bags, okay, how soon do you think that I should go? It's a pretty long road-trip from Texas all the way down to Florida."

"As soon as you want, dude, just pack all of your shit into your car, sell your house in Texas if you really want to, and get your ass down here!," Dream said. "The sooner, the better, but don't rush yourself too much."

"Nahh, man, you bet that i'll be down there within the next few days, i'll just leave my house to the real estate agents or something...," Sapnap replied. "Just give me some time to pack up or sell everything that I own right now, I just cleaned my house out so it's pretty empty, hopefully not too much for me to actually end up packing."

"Right, well, I guess that i'll see you soon then! Bye, Pandas."

"See ya', Blondie."

A/N You like story, you read on my alt when I finish it, I want clout.