old cringe sapnap oneshots

❤️The chaotic adventures of finding a child✨

A/N I just took melatonin and i'm half asleep but WHO CARES, IT'S TIME TO WRITE

"I'm sorry, little one..." They murmured, softly pressing their lips against his forehead before setting the child down in the padded box, bending the flaps of the lid to keep him protected from the chilly wind of the winter night without sealing it shut. A heavy sigh escaped from their parted mouth as they slowly picked the box up and walked towards a building, reluctantly setting the box down on the front steps with a small note taped to the side before knocking on the door and fleeing into the darkness

*--*

"I mean, getting anoth-"

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"I'll get it, hang on a moment" Bad said quickly as he stood up, stretching his legs before hurrying to the door and throwing it open to see a random package left on his steps "Huh... I never ordered anything" He mumbled to himself, grabbing the big box and carrying it inside "Oooo~ what did ya' get?" Skeppy asked excitedly, Bad shrugged "I didn't buy anything, maybe they got the wrong address..?"

"It's a pretty big box, Bad, we should check what's inside just in case it's something... illegal" Skeppy suggested with glittering eyes, Bad sighed "I mean... I GUESS we should make sure it's not something awful but still... it's not our mail"

Skeppy elbowed him with a groan "Whatever, fraidy cat, just open the fucking box!" "Language! And... fine, we'll open the box but ONLY to CHECK! Not touch, then we'll probably seal it back up" Skeppy eagerly clapped his hands with glee as Bad kneeled down and pried back the flaps of the box to reveal... a... child?

He loudly gasped as he looked down at a small black haired boy dressed in simple clothing, causing them to stir and sit up before opening their eyes, one a rich earthy brown while the other was a watery greyish blue. He cautiously reached into the box and gently lifted the child into his arms, they looked at him with a slightly scared expression as they realised that this was not their parent

Bad immediately started to freak out while Skeppy just stared in disbelief "UHHH- Don't cry! It's okay... little guy... we're not gonna hurt chu', okay?" He coaxed, Skeppy took another look at the box while his friend tried desperately to keep the ravenette from bursting into tears "Hey, Bad, there's a note on the side of this thing" He said, picking it off of the cardboard and scanning it with his eyes "It saayyss... that his name is... Sap- Sapnap! He's three, or four, it just says year of birth without a day or month so I can't determine much"

Bad grinned at the new information, glad to have a name for this random ass child that was just left at his step "Well, hey there, Sapnap, my name's Badboyhalo!" He said quietly, Sapnap seemed slightly less terrified as soon as he heard his name and the soothing voice. Bad glanced back up at his head and noticed a pair of black crescent shaped ears akin to that of a panda, he chuckled lightly "You're a kemono, huh, little guy? I can understand why you were dumped but that's still horrible, geez, i'm so sorry for you..."

Sapnap just tilted his head and continued to stare at the man holding him, not trying to squirm away but also not trying to be at all friendly. Bad turned back to look at Skeppy whose eyes immediately widened "NO- don't even THINK about it" He said quickly and Bad pouted "Come ooooonnnnn, Skeppy, we HAVE to keep him! He needs a proper parent who won't drop him off to be raised by a stranger"

"There is no way in HELL that we are keeping some random fucking kid off of the streets" Skeppy replied "Skeppy, please, just look at him" Bad said as he sat the boy on his lap and covered his ears as to not expose him to Skeppy's habit of swearing "Nope, nope, nopeity, NOPE" Skeppy said, furiously shaking his head, Bad thought for a moment "I'll do the dishes for a week"

"I mean... I guess that we could look after him" Skeppy said quickly and Bad just laughed, taking his hands away from Sapnap's ears "Alright, Sap, let's get you something to eat"

*--*

After they'd fed the ravenette and wrestled him into some warmer clothes, they decided that it was getting pretty late and that they should probably put him to bed but... Sap had other plans

"SAPNAP- COME BACK HERE" Bad called as he ran after the boy, Sapnap giggled as he managed to slip and slide across the linoleum flooring of the kitchen, avoiding Bad's hands and scrambling to his feet before scampering off down the hallway. Bad chased after him and was surprised that he and Skeppy, fully grown adults, couldn't catch a small child sliding on tiles "SKEPPY, HALLWAY" He cried out, Skeppy nodded ran over to pick him up but missed and Sapnap ran right past him like a blur of black and white

Bad dropped to his knees and dragged his hands down his face with a groan, catching the attention of the ravenette. Sapnap frowned as he noticed Bad's pained expression and walked over to him, basically turning himself in as he didn't like to see Bad upset even though he'd only known him for upwards of an hour. He stretched an arm out and started gently patting Bad's head, remembering how this same method was used when HE was sad

Bad glanced up in surprise but reached out and scooped the boy up with a breathless laugh of thanks before walking over to the couch and practically collapsing with exhaustion. Sapnap let out a little yawn of his own while stretching his arms as he laid across Bad's chest, eyes fluttering but not fully closing

Skeppy looked over at the pair with a smile, treading on almost silent feet as he approached them and crouched down "So, looks like you're doing the dishes all week" Bad rolled his eyes "You know that you wanted to keep him as well, but yeah, i'm doing the dishes... like I normally have to do because YOU never do!"

Skeppy shushed him "Be quiet, you're gonna startle him and I don't wanna chase him around the house again, he's surprisingly fast for a child" Bad glanced between the two before clearing his throat "Well, okay mr. Know-it-all, why don't youuuu get him to sleep" Bad carefully stood up and picked Sap up again, passing him to the hesitant Skeppy who tried to hand him back before reluctantly accepting, sitting down on the couch so that there was no possibility of dropping him

He looked at the ravenette in his arms who sleepily blinked up at him, confused on why he'd been taken away from Bad "Umm... hey, kid, i'm Skeppy... and you should go to sleep" He said awkwardly and Bad rolled his eyes yet, to everyone's surprise, Sap shifted around before hiding his face in the crook of Skeppy's neck with a snuffly sigh of content, not caring who it was since he was happy to accept anyone with warmth at the moment

Skeppy turned his head and gave Bad a smug grin, the brunette just groaned and sat down beside him, mouth shifting into that of a small smile as he looked back at Sap with fondness "Goodnight, little one, sleep tight..."

A/N I literally passed out halfway through writing this lmfao