old cringe sapnap oneshots

💚The Dream dream✨

"Oh come on now, who do you think is better equipped?"

"Dream please-"

"Get OUT of my furnaces, Sapnap, I will kill you- HEY! I WILL KILL YOU"

"DREAM! PLEASE- I HAVE NO FOOD AND THREE HEARTS" He screeched as he furiously smashed keys on his keyboard "YOU HAVE SO MUCH, I just want ONE piece"

"Why should I? All you do is take my items, when have you ever given me something in return?"

"I've given you your stuff back so many times, I could've kept it but I didn't because- because I am a good person" Sapnap replied

"Fine, you can have ONE piece of food, a singular piece, nothing more" Dream sighed, dropping a cooked steak in Sapnap's direction, he scampered over and grabbed it, quickly eating it to regain hunger and hearts with a content sigh "Thank you"

Sapnap sat back in his chair and stretched as he waited for his hearts to go up, he didn't want to move around and waste the food so he took a moment to relax before moving away from Dream and placing down his own furnace to finish smelting his iron ore. He randomly looked up and spotted diamonds across a small pool of lava, letting a small involuntary gasp "What?" Dream asked

"Nothing" Sapnap replied quickly, too quickly, Dream looked around for his nametag but Sapnap crouched and hid behind the corner with his furnace "You found diamonds, didn't you?" Dream said "Nope" Sapnap laughed shakily as he crafted an iron pickaxe, sprinting over to the diamonds and placing his water bucket to turn the lethal lava into solid obsidian

He quickly mined the diamonds, forgetting the mod that they were using for the recording "Oh shit- DREEEEAM" He cried as he towered up with dirt "IT SPAWNED SO MANY SILVERFISH, LIKE, TWENTY PER DIAMOND ORE AND I MINED SEVEN, COME HELP ME"

Dream appeared within seconds and placed his bucket of lava around the pillar, efficiently burning the silverfish until they all went up in a puff of smoke "There you go, hurry up and make a shield or something" "Oh, my handsome saviour" Sapnap replied as he got down from the dirt tower and crafted a shield with the last of his wood "I think we have enough pearls to head to the stronghold now" Dream said as Sapnap made himself a diamond axe and pickaxe, using the remaining diamond to craft a shovel "Hey Dream, I got you a gift for saving me... again, for the fifth time"

Dream walked over again, wielding ten eyes of ender, Sapnap threw the shovel over to him and he gasped "A spOOOOOOOn! Wait, no-"

Sapnap burst out laughing "What is it with you and spoons? You always call shovels spoons, it's so wei- AHHH" Sapnap yelled as he fell into an underground ravine that went into negative Y levels, only just surviving the fall on half a heart

"I-I don't know" Dream wheezed, slamming his fist down on his table as he watched Sapnap's character walk right off of the edge and into the ravine "Did you just die?"

"What do you think, dumbass?" Sapnap retorted, slowly swimming back up a stream of water coming out of the wall "Well, I don't see a death message so no" Dream replied, Sapnap rolled his eyes "Wow! Congrats, you're a genius"

"Someones a bit salty today, guys look, Sapnap's in his toxic era"

"Who the heck are you talking to!? GEORGE ISN'T HERE"

"Whoever is watching the video, obviously, you're not allowed to cut this bit out"

"You can't stop me" Sapnap replied "I'm cutting it out just to piss you off"

"I can definitely stop you, idiot, we're in the same house" Dream laughed

"How does that change anything? What are you gonna do, point a gun at my head as I edit just to make sure that I leave this part in?"