old cringe sapnap oneshots

💚🖤Two is better than one✨

A/N *Throws the brother AU out of a second storey window* Highschool poly boys :D Snipsnap and his bfs who need to share a bit of height. Dream has light brown hair, Punz has whiteish blonde hair, Sapnap has black hair

"Oh shut up, Juliana, he doesn't like you, nobody in the fucking world likes you"

"He likes me a lot more than YOU, Jeremy" She said haughtily "At least i'm actually attractive, plus, you have an insufferable voice and attitude"

"You say that like you're any better, you bitch and whine all day long" He retorted with a frustrated eye roll "He chose me, he doesn't want you" She folded her arms with a huff "He chose ME" Someone walked over in a handful of long strides, resting their elbow on Juliana's shoulder with an exaggerated sigh "So, what're we talking about?"

She snapped her head around to look at them, Punz gave her an innocent smile "C'mon, no need to keep it a secret! I couldn't help but overhear you two having a... lovely... conversation about somebody, care to share who?"

"Well, that's none of your b-" She was cut off "Never mind, I don't want to hear your voice anymore and you're VERY loud, we heard every word" Punz said

"We..?"

Punz gestured at Dream who seemed to materialise out of thin air behind Jeremy "We."

Jeremy shrugged "Alright, who cares? He likes me the best, Juliana, just give it a rest already" "No, why should I? He's single, open game, i'll back off if you actually wrangle a date with him which is, like, fucking impossible" She replied, Punz burst out laughing, not even bothering to make an attempt to hide it "You're talking about pre- Sapnap, right?"

They both hesitantly nodded, Dream slapped a hand over his mouth as he started wheezing, Punz stepped away from here as he snickered "Yeah, he's totally single" "But aren't we-" Dream started, Punz quickly shushed him "Just wait, I want to know what's going upon in their heads because obviously they're either blind or oblivious"

They were both confused "Oblivious?" Jeremy asked "Oblivious to what? I would say that i'm actually pretty observant and aware, like a watch tower"

Conveniently, Sapnap happened to walk past at that moment , Punz waved the ravenette over "Yeah?" He asked absent-mindedly as he walked over and stood next to the blonde, Punz grinned at him "Hey, pretty boy, how're you doin'?"

"What-" They said in unison but nobody acknowledged them apart from Dream who just snorted, Sapnap shrugged "Could be better, could be worse, it is how it is.... How bout' you and Dreamy?"

"I'm doing just WONDERFULLY apart from listening to these dumbasses have the stupidest conversation known to mankind" Punz replied "Like you said, could be better or it could be worse" Dream said, Jeremy and Juliana looked between the trio with shocked expressions. Dream walked over to Punz and Sapnap, grabbing each of their hands in his as he led them away "Alright, you've had your fun, let's go"

"But I just got there" Sapnap whined "I want to know what they were talking about, wait- never mind, I know exactly what they were saying... how stupid are they?" "Very stupid, ignorant and arrogant" Punz laughed "I've kissed y'all  in front of them before and they just pretended that nothing happened"

"Yeah" Sapnap replied as they made their way to the cafeteria"Both of them have asked me out several different times, it's pretty annoying, everyone in this hell hole is either homophobic or crushing on one of us, sometimes both" "Well, now they probably won't, maybe, hopefully" Dream said, Sapnap grinned "Yeah, hopefully..."