old cringe sapnap oneshots

🧡Rat and the Big Daddy mug✨

CW: This whole thing is filled with... questionable... jokes/sentences

"STOP- STOP DIGGING DOWN, THE WHOLE END ISLAND IS FALLING YOU STUPID BITCH" Sapnap screeched, Karl started laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair as he fell out of the world "CALLA, KICK HIM, BAN HIM"

Callahan quickly typed in the command and Karl was kicked out of the world "Hey guys" Dream said as he joined the call "Helloooo" Bad said cheerfully "Are we still gonna play that game of bedwars?"

"Uhhh yeah, if Dream wants, are you down?" Sapnap asked "Yeah, just a bit tired but i'm happy to play" Dream replied "Oh, why're you tired?" Sapnap said "I just didn't sleep very well, I kept waking up but I did get an okay amount of sleep" Dream yawned

"Why didn't you sleep well- oh, it's because I wasn't there to cuddle you" Sapnap snorted "Yeah, totally" Dream said with an eyeroll "You were to busy to come cuddle"

Bad laughed a bit as more of the End island fell, Dream suddenly had a thought pop into his head "Bad, can you please explain the coffee mug?" "Okay, no-" Bad said hurriedly "Oh yeah, that was SO weird" Sapnap laughed

"Bad, you said that Rat got you a mug that said 'Big Daddy'" Dream replied "You literally said 'I think she got it for me because she's so small and i'm bigger than her and i'm her DaDdY'" Bad started yelling unintelligible excuses as everyone started laughing "LISTEN- I JUST SAW A HUGE COFFEE CUP AND I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE CUTE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF RAT NEXT TO IT! YOU'RE ADDING WEIRD CONTEXT BEHIND IT THAT I DIDN'T SAY"

"Mhmm, right... 'I think she got it for me because i'm much bigger than her and she's SOOOO small and i'm her DaAaAdDy'" Karl snorted "Wait that's so weird, that's SO WEIRD-I DON'T CARE WHAT CONTEXT YOU PUT THAT IN, IT'S SO WEIRD" Sapnap yelled "Ok Bad, 'she's small and i'm bigger than her and i'm her DAAAAAAAADDY!' DO YOU NOT SEE HOW WEIRD THAT IS"

"I hate you guys, I HATE you guys" Bad groaned "You're all making the word daddy so weird"

"The worst part about this, listen, the WORST part about this is how much LORE HE PUT BEHIND THE RAT BIG DADDY COFFE MUG" Karl interrupted "No no no, the worst part is how Rat looks like a victim, she's side-eyeing the cup like she KNOWS what it says" Dream replied "Yeah! We want the Big Daddy lore" Sapnap laughed "And the fact that she's wearing some weird contraption, like, this red vest shit"

"I'm done" Bad sighed "I thought the idea was adorable, a little tiny dog getting their, much larger than them, owner a-" "Stop STOP STOP STOOOP STOP STOP STOP!" Sapnap cried "This man- he couldn't have just said 'my dog'" Karl replied with hysteric giggles "He just had to say my small... tiny... microscopic dog~'"

"Yeah, my small tiny little dog... the itsy bitsy dog and the bigger, so huge owner" Dream wheezed "JUST LISTEN! 'My itsy bitsy teensy weensy dog, I-I have POWER over my dog'" Karl said, everyone started laughing apart from Bad "I hate you guys, you're literally my least favourite group of people"

"It's just- it's just that the context for this is SO WEIRD! Rat looks scared for her life, is wearing some STRAPPED UP VEST or something that I don't even know what it is, has a BIG DADDY mug and Bad is saying that Rat got him the mug" Dream replied "Rat's like 'I didn't get you that fucking mug'"

Sapnap giggled "Rat's like 'I did NOT get you that mug'" "Rat's shivering in that photo" Karl said "Rat is SHIVERING in the goddamn photo, you can just tell"

"You and the replies are making this SO weird" Bad cried "Wait- wait- i'm gonna read some of the replies" Dream said, clearing his throat "'Yes, are you sure that Skeppy didn't get you that?' Yeah, that- that's kinda weird... 'Did Skeppy get you that cup?' and then Skeppy replied 'Rat... got that for you' and GEORGE replies 'Rat...???' and Sapnap responds 'Yo, what the hell' Quackity replies 'You got that same mug for me? What does this mean?'"

"I don't think I even replied to this tweet" Karl said suddenly "Too bad so sad" George replied "You missed out on good free real estate"

Dream had tears in his eyes as he started laughing harder "And then Velvet- Velvet replied- VELVET REPLIED 'Bad: "Skeppy, what do I say when people see the mug and the ball gag" Skeppy: "Only post the mug, Bad, and say it was Rat, they'll all believe you"' I'M LITERALLY IN TEARS" Everyone burst out laughing again, Dream was wheezing his lungs out and Bad was frowning

"Velvet went crazy, dude" Sapnap said as he struggled to breathe between laughs "How many likes did that get? That's a banger" George asked "Everyone, go- go boost the tweet" "And Ant replied 'So I don't think Rat got you that one'" Dream added "And then Spifey replied 'Rat needs to chill' with a picture of him looking like Rat"

Sapnap pulled up the tweet, having been the one originally going to read them "Somebody replied 'Daddy and baby girl'... okay... Bad, I feel like your twitter is just a Rat fanpage" Bad sighed "Yeah, is there something wrong with that?" "No, okay, you don't need to get so defensive about it... daddy chill, big daddy chill" Sapnap replied "I'm done with you, i'm done with all of you" Bad groaned as he rubbed his face "I need new friends..."

Suddenly, Quackity joined the call "I heard someone say Rat and Big Daddy-"