MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 22: DE JA VU

I take a shower, with as hot of water that I can stand.  Something about when I'm upset, the hot water makes me feel better.  I see my mom's words over and over again. I hear Tara's words. Both playing in my head. Even if Tom could fall for me, I won't be able to please him. He will want someone soon. I mean he says he doesn't want to be having sex right now, but when he meets some girl, that will change. What I wouldn't give to be that girl. To be with him.

I wash my hair. I am trying hard to block out the flashbacks of that night with Rob. Why can't I forget that night. I mean I wasn't actually raped. I thought I was going to be, but I wasn't. I was lucky. Dennis saved me. Not all girls get saved.  So why does hearing Rob's name just send chills throughout me and bring on flashbacks, and nightmares. I really hope that I'm not going to have a nightmare. They haunt me.  I really hope that I can stay in Tom's room tonight. But if I do how awkward. I mean I still can't believe how I could have scooted over and got on him.  I really need to stop reading those books., They are to blame probably. I must have been in a deep sleep and took on the life of one of my books.  I am having too many thoughts about Tom. I need to stop doing that. Does he want me to stay in his room? Or is she just being nice?

I am an idiot. A complete idiot.  , and I thought I pulled the curtain when I got in, but I guess I didn't all the way water is all over the floor.  Oh dear.  I stepped down and grabbed a towel to dry off and cover up with, then I grabbed another and got down and dried the floor.  I got it all dry, and that is when I realized how bad I messed up.  My pajamas I had put them on the floor.  They are totally soaked. I hold them up. They are sopping wet.  Oh dear.  I wish I could find a hair dryer, maybe I could dry them.  This is going to take a long time for them to dry.  I can't put them on. Even if I could stand the wet clothes, I would not be able to sit in the guest room bed or on Tom's bed if he still lets me go in his room.

Tom is lying on his bed.  Staring at the door. Why isn't she coming in. Why is her shower taking so long. She should be done by now. I was going to take a shower too. I hope she knew I wanted her to come in here and sleep with me. Ok that didn't sound right. But I mean what if she is in the guest room.  

Tom went and looked.  No, the guest room was empty. He went and knocked on the bathroom door. he said, "Madison"

 I said, "hey Tom" I said "oh no my God what if he needs to use the bathroom. I'm in a towel what will I do.

Tom said, "Madison are you ok in there" Why is he asking me if I'm ok. 

I said, 'Um yeah why" 

He said, "well you are taking a long time, I just was a little worried.  you aren't playing with toys too are you" 

He regretted it the minute those words came out of his mouth. He didn't mean it like that. He was teasing her like toys that Molly played with, but he knew that since she's 17, it is going to be taken wrong.  

He said, "Sorry bad joke. I didn't mean I just meant you know Molly I was telling you. I'm shutting up now." 

 I laughed. I said, "Tommy."  

He said "yeah" 

I said, 'I hope you don't need in here" 

He scratched back of his head.  He said, "Well actually I do, but I can wait. I can use my mom and dad's bathroom"

 I said, "oh I'm sorry, it's just I have a big problem" 

Tom said, "What"

 I said, "I have a big problem, I'm not sure what I am going to do."  

Tom said, "oh um oh right, so um do you need me to go to the store."  

I said, "The store"

He said, "yeah and get one of those um uh pad things" I laughed.  Tom was embarrassed. Turning red.