MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 33: TOM FOLLOWS HIS DAD

Tom is worried about me. He is being so sweet. He feels bad that I had that nightmare, and thinks it's his fault, even though I told him it's not. That I have had them for 2 years. He argues with me that I wasn't having them, and he brought up that party, not thinking.  I'm relieved to go back to work, Tom is starting to drive me crazy, though in a good way, he's just worried, but it's like he's hovering over me, watching my every move, wanting to know what he can do what he can get me.  Emma is telling me it's because he cares about me, and I know that, so I let him do it.

The week passes by fast.  Much to my dread. I have been dreading both Thursday night and Friday night. When I told them on Sunday that I would go to this support group, it was a long way away. But now the day has arrived.  I don't want to go. I know I should. Tom's mom, Tom, and Emma all think it's a good idea.  I try and get out of it, by telling Tom I don't want him to miss time bowling with his dad, and i want to watch him bowl, but he said he already found a replacement. Mike was going to fill in and bowl. So, Emma goes to watch Mike bowl.

Mia, and Molly go with Tom's dad. Emma sits with them.  Tom's mom takes Tom and I to eat before the group. I just have a salad. Not really eating.  She said, "Madison, I know you don't want to go, but no one is going to make you get up and talk. It will be ok. I really think you will be helped by it, to see that what you are feeling is something others feel. You aren't alone but if you want to leave, we can go but please just go. If only for a few minutes."  I nod.

She goes to make a call.  Tom took my hand.  He said, "I'm here for you. It will be ok."  

I said, 'Thank you. You are the sweetest guy I've ever met. I don't know if I can go back to my life without you."  

I hug him.  He said, "Madison, I told you, soulmates forever." He kisses my forehead.

Tom said, "Talk to me. What are you feeling?"

 I said, " I'm nervous. Kind of scared, not sure what to expect. Will I have to stand up, introduce myself Even if I don't, they all will stare, they will all know I'm to blame for what Rob did for my mom abusing me. All those eyes on me.  Judging me. Staring at me. Saying how stupid I am, I should have known."  

 He said, "Madison no that's not going to happen. You did nothing wrong."

  I said, "I liked Rob. I thought he was hot."  Tom said, 'well so what. That doesn't mean you wanted to be raped by him. You are way too hard on yourself.  You won't have to say a word. We will just go and listen ok.  I am right here with you."

I go to the bathroom.  Tom's mom comes back.  Tom said, "mom she blames herself; I don't get it why? She blames herself for what Rob did, for how her mom has treated her. Why? It isn't her fault"

 She said, 'Because that is what victims of abuse do, whether it is abuse from spouse, from parent, from a stranger. Women who have been assaulted, carry guilt and shame with them. And sadly, they keep quiet, and don't go to the cops because in a lot of cases they are shamed, by police, by the legal system. A lot of times the rapist gets better treatment."  

Tom said, 'that is sick. I don't know how you can stand it. Seeing it. Makes me so mad. I really have been living carefree life, no real problems, no struggles, and not really paying attention to what people have to live through. I feel really bad that there are so many of these issues out there, date rape, parental abuse, and I haven't cared, until now. I'm sorry mom. I should have helped you with your groups." 

 She said, "No you were being a normal teenager. Buit I'm really proud of you, for how you are caring for her, and trying to make this better for her. You being with us tonight is huge."  

I came back and we left. Tom is holding my hand.  We go in. There are several women there, and they all start to come over to say hi to Tom's mom, but stop when they see Tom, and they back up. Like they are afraid. Tom and I both notice.  Tom looks at me. His mom realizes, she says, "girls it's ok. This is my son Thomas. He is here to be with his girlfriend. I wanted her to sit in on one of our meetings. You are all safe."