MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 99: LOSING YOU

Tuesday's practice started off good, but ended in a complete disaster. Tom got so upset. And I feel terrible, because it's all my fault. Now he is insisting I quit track. I will if he doesn't change his mind, but I'm a little disappointed, if I have to, because I was excited for Thursday, excited to see if I could really do it, line up on a track with an audience in the stands, and actually perform, or would I get scared and run off the track or would I freeze and not be able to move, or is Tom, and his mom, and Emma, right, that I could actually maybe do good, and even win a race. I want to win so bad. Not just for them but for me. I've never won anything in my life. I've never got a trophy. If I could just get one medal even 3rd place, it would make me so happy. It would mean that my mom is wrong, I'm not a failure. I can win at something. I'm not a loser in every single thing. Just if he would let me do Thursday, and see if I could actually run the race, and get a medal, they could never take it away from me. It would be mine forever.

He's up in his room. Not talking. He didn't say anything on the ride home. Once inside, went upstairs, and I stayed down with his mom to explain what happened. She told me that she would talk to him. But that for me to not quit track if it's not what I want to do. She told me she wanted me to remember this, that never let a man control me, not Tommy, not any man. I am my own person. I have my own thoughts, and opinions, and make my own choices. Now I can listen to him, but not to let Tommy boss me or control me. She is upstairs talking to him right now. Emma called me. Wanting to know if I was ok, And how Tom was doing. Mike called her. Said it was pretty bad.. She was at work, but I explained it all, she said she could leave work, but I told her no I'm fine.

I guess i didn't explain what happened today. How I totally messed everything up.

Practice was just starting. Tom and I were talking as we were walking out on the track, and I was in such a hurry to get changed so I could see him, and have time with him while we walked to the track. I didn't get my shoes all the way tied. I grabbed them out of my locker, and stepped into them, without taking the time to bend down and tie them tight. All I could think of was seeing Tommy. I mean I feel like time is going so fast, and it will be June before I know it, so I'm trying to spend every minute I can with Tommy.

We had done our stretches and warm up routine. Each of the girls were doing their own thing The coach had decided I'd do the 100 and the 200 and the relay, and so he wanted to take some time with not just me but all the new track members to work on the start, just because he told us that it was normal for first meet to be so excited you don't even hear the gun you jump before.

He had been using a whistle the first week of practice, and Monday, But today he decided he would get us use to the gun, like it would be on Thursday.

Tom was with the boys, doing their thing, but he watched whenever it was my turn to race.

The coach had us line up in our positions. The first time out, we had to stop, because Allie next to me jumped first. Then Carin jumped next time. The third time was the charm. I managed to not jump. But I messed it up.

Tom was watching. The gun sounded. I took off but unfortunately my shoe came off, because it was not double tied, and down I went. Just like In my nightmares. Only this was a practice, Thank God, and none of the girls were laughing.

Tom's point of view. I'm watching Madison. I told coach I'm sorry, I will run after if he needs it, but at least her first few races, I want to watch her. She's only doing this for me. He understood and is cool with me watching. I had to laugh as the first two tries went nowhere, because someone started early, and both times, it wasn't Madison. She has been so afraid, almost obsessed with the fact she thinks she will mess up, start early, and it will be the end of the world. I mean it's really not a big deal. She's never done track or any sport before. Even vets mess up. , even pros mess up.