MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 106: FEELING REJECTED

I'm not really sure what to do with Tom's reaction to my suggestion that we have sex.  I had wanted to ask him, but let's be honest, I probably would have lost my nerve and not asked. But he told me how much in love he is with me, he asked me to be his girlfriend, so it was easy to ask him. But he is choking now on his water, and staring at me, with a weird look on his face. Not just a weird look on his face, not sure but it kind of looks like a horrified look on his face.

Maybe he is in love with me, but he doesn't want to be with me? Does that even make sense.

I said, "Tom, I'm sorry."  Tom said, "no Madison. Just give me a minute. I wasn't expecting you to say that."  He took some drinks of his water. More like gulps of water. In fact, he finished the whole water bottle.  he said, "damn I need something stronger."  He actually muttered it, don't think he meant to say it out loud.

Tom said, "Come here."  We went and sat down on the bed.  Tom had my hands.

I said, "Tom I'm sorry if the idea of being with me, having sex with me makes you sick to your stomach."  Tom said, "Madison" I said, "I'm not shocked by that, I mean I figured you would react negatively to it, and let's be honest, I probably would have lost my nerve to ask you, but I thought since you told me you were in love it was easier for me to ask you."

I'm rambling, not looking at him. I guess so that he won't say anything, and we can just forget about it.

Tom said, "Madison" I said, "let's just forget about it, we can go to sleep, it's late."  Tom said, "Madison."  I said, "night Tom, I'm going to go into the bathroom."

Tom said, "Madison let me talk please."  I said, "it's ok. You don't need to say anything. I'm so sorry."  Tom said, "Madison please."

 He touched my face.  I wish I weren't always so emotional. I am trying hard to not cry. It hurts though, him rejecting me. Of course, he would reject me.

Tom said, "Baby please don't cry."  Another tear escaped.  Tom said, "Madison" I said, "I'm sorry. Just ignore it. I figured that you would reject me anyway."  Tom said, "I'm not rejecting you. I just am shocked that you asked me that.  You said you were wanting to ask me regardless of how I reacted to your feelings for me"

I said, "yes, because all these girls have been with you, and I hate that I won't get a chance, and I was running out of time I thought, so I mean I wanted to ask you, but I don't know if I could get my nerve up to do it. But I just thought."

Tom said, "Madison, listen to me. I am in love with you. I want to be with you forever, and you have no idea how bad I want to make love to you. For the first time in my life, it would be special, it would be love, not just sex. I have no doubt that when we make love it will not compare, it will blow my mind, and I admit I'm a guy, so I have fantasized about making love to you. About you letting me love you, letting me tease you, until you beg me to stop, about seeing if I could make you moan or scream my name, about finding any spot that will make you go crazy." . I said, "you have."  Tom nodded. He said, "All the time. In vivid detail."

Tom said, "Madison, I want you, more than I have ever wanted anyone or anything."  I said, "Because it's been so long since you had sex or" Tom said, "no because I love you."

I said, "Tom, I know that you are very safe, and if that's what you are worried about, don't worry. Your mom insisted I start taking birth control pills."  Tom had taken another gulp of water, and then choked again, and this time the look on his face was horror.

Tom was coughing.  He said, "What did you just say?  Please tell me Madison you didn't just say my mom put you on birth control" I said, "yes she did."

Tom said, "oh no, Madison, I'm so sorry. What the hell. I'm going to have to confront my mom about this."  I said, "Tom. it's ok"

Tom said, "no it's not ok. How could she do that to you?  Treat you like that? Disrespect you" I said, "Tom she didn't."  Tom said, "Madison you're a virgin. Why would she do that, she knows you weren't having sex.  who the hell did she think you were going to be having sex with, does she know about the other guys."