MY FAKE ROMANCE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL

CHAPTER 25: WE BREAK UP FOR REAL

Tom's view:  I feet sick,  like I could throw up at any minute.  maybe I should not have run today, it's hot, and I shouldn't have insisted on racing her. I'm thinking to myself as I'm driving, actually you were feeling sick before you even picked Madison up. It's this talk that we are going to have.  I wish I wouldn't have told her I wanted to go over the rules, but I felt like we need to set some rules and boundaries, so that we can get this dating started, no actually you know what you want to get started, you want to kiss her, if she will allow it. If she won't that is fine, but until you have this talk, and see what she is and isn't comfortable with, then we are just stuck in limbo. I wish I knew how she was going to react to what I have to say. It's making me so nervous. I need to get it over with., I'm not used to being nervous like this, I've never had this kind of trouble with girls, not even when I first started liking girls.

Madison's View:  I'm  feeling sick.  I know why though. It's because I'm having major doubts about going through with this. I'm thinking as he is driving man you are being so selfish to him, you want to hang out with him so bad, and be his fake girlfriend, but I'm not being fair to him. I mean no one is going to believe he is going to want to be with you, and even if they did, then what if they start making fun of him, or what if they figure out, he is trying hurt Tara and make her jealous, then everyone would be laughing at him. He could get any girl to do this. I need to talk to him about this before we eat, so that I don't get sick.

We both say at the same time, "hey you think we could talk before we go to eat" we both laugh, realizing we said the same thing. 

 Tom said, "you go first."  He is thinking dammit I bet she is going to back out of this deal. She has been quiet the whole car ride. Don't get upset, just try and talk her into it. But am I being fair to her, I mean if she doesn't want to do it, I said I wouldn't pressure her. Why do I feel like if she backs out, I'm going to be devastated.  I mean it should not be a big deal, if she backs out, but it is.

I said, "Tom you have been so good to me, coming to save me at the park, letting me stay at your house, letting me stay in your room, when I was upset, defending me to my mom, offering to teach me to drive."  He smiled.  I said, "I think it's only fair to give you one last chance to back out of this deal"

 He said, "Madison, I don't want to back out of it."

I said, 'Tom I feel like it's selfish of me to do this. I want to help you, I hate Tara, and I would love to be the one to help you hurt her."  

He said, 'Then do it."  

I said, 'Tom, I think you are a great guy," 

Tom's View:  I feel sick.  Is she dumping me.  I have to be honest; I've never been dumped. I've done the dumping. And I've tried to do it nicely. But now I'm realizing that there may not be a nice way to dump someone, because this doesn't feel very good. Why can I not breathe now, I mean I'm literally holding my breath waiting for her next words.

Madison's view: I said, 'Tom I think you're hurt, and you are hurt by Brad also, and I don't think you're thinking clearly." 

 Tom thinks, no I'm not thinking clearly and it's all your fault, I don't know what kind of power you are having over me, and why, I don't get it. It's got to be that shampoo.

Tom said, 'I am thinking clearly"

 I said, "not if you think I'm the best choice to be your fake girlfriend."  

He said, "You are my only choice" I smile. Wow he is making this hard on me. I'm tempted to just say ok I'll do it and let it go.

I said, "Tom yes, she hates me, and it would get to her, but no one is going to believe that you want to be with me"