Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 1 (A New Oumeno)

Kokichi and Himiko Have A Kid

     "Push, Himiko!" Kokichi said. "C'mon, push harder! You can do it!" 

     "Gggrhh..I'm...trying!" Himiko grunted. "Ha...AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

     "There ya go, babe!" Kokichi encouraged. "You're getting closer!"

     "KOKICHI, YOU JERK!! YOU DID THIS TO ME!!" Himiko screeched, her face turning red. 

    "You're almost there, Himiko! You're almost there!" Kokichi said, his face full of excitement. Suddenly, he heard crying. He sighed with disappointment as he clicked the "pause" button on the stopwatch he was holding. He knelt down next to Himiko, who lay flat on the grass crying. "Seriously, Himiko?" he asked. "It took you 15 seconds to do ONE push-up?!" 

   "Nyeh...it's so haaarrd," Himiko whined.

   "Himiko, how do you expect to pass P.E. if you can't do a single push-up?" Kokichi said. 

   "Nyeh...by just showing up?" Himiko mumbled. 

   "Maybe that's how it worked in the olden days," Kokichi said. "Like, in the 90's, or something, but it doesn't work like that, anymore! Now, you asked me to be your coach because you're flunking P.E., so I'm gonna be your coach! Now, gimme 50 push-ups, you maggot!" Himiko tried, yet again, lifting her body with her frail arms.

  "Nyeh...I liked it better when...nyeh...you were my...boyfriend," Himiko strained.

   "Your boyfriend ain't here, maggot!" Kokichi yelled. "You wanted me as your coach, and now you've got me as your coach! And you call that a push-up?! My grandma can do better than that, AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!!!" 

   "Wh-What h-happened to her?" Himiko asked, struggling.

   "No talking, cud muncher!" Kokichi ordered. "I want complete silence on this field! I want you to hush up while you push up, do yo under-stand me?!"

   "Nnnyyeeehhh...can you...p-please go back to...being my b-boyfriend, Kokichi?" Himiko said as she fell back to the ground. 

   "Welp, okay!" Kokichi replied in his regular voice. "Nee-heehee...my throat was aching from talking like a drill sergeant, anyway." He reached his hand out to help Himiko up, but she refused.

  "Nyeh...I'm too tired," she said. "Can you carry me?"

   "D'oh...okay," Kokichi said. He scooped Himiko up into his arms and carried her into the house. "You know, HimiCocoa Bean," he said as he carried her. "You really should try harder in gym, ya know. If you keep flunking, you're gonna wind up as weak and wimpy as...I dunno, Kazuichi, or something."

   "Or you," Himiko teased, poking Kokichi's cheek. 

   "Hey, unlike you, I'm not flunking gym," Kokichi pointed out. 

   "I know," Himiko pouted. Kokichi walked into the living room and placed Himiko onto the couch. "Maybe I'll ask Tenko, or Sakura, or Nekomaru to help train me, since they make better coaches."