Xingyun Oneshots

111 - It's Okay to Fall (Even In My Arms)

Xingqiu knew that Chongyun hated the summer, and the blistering heat that came with it.

Xingqiu knew that he also brought out his parasol and popsicles and tended to keep even quiet than usual, lest he spout something silly on accident on account of his condition.

And Xingqiu also knew that Chongyun tried his best not be a bother to anyone, even if that meant being more reclusive and not opening up as much as he wishes the other boy would.

He'd noticed in the years lately as their friendship bond grew stronger that there were feelings there unsaid - nobody ever said them though, as they both had their own duties to their clan and guild respectively, and sorting out feelings like that was so much more complicated than just keeping things professional as friends, so they continued to keep it that way.

But as the summer months drew on one year, and Chongyun's grip on his parasol seemed exceptionally tight lately and the sweet, sticky juice from his popsicles melted faster than he ate them, Xingqiu knew something was up, and he wasn't about to let it slide, friends or more than that.

So one day, Chongyun is sitting tense beside him, and Xingqiu steals glances at him before he sighs and sets his book aside, which immediately captures Chongyun's attention.

He knew Xingqiu didn't put his book down unless it was for something worth noting or important.

"Dear Chongyun, I've been attentive enough to notice something troubling you." He starts, giving him his clear and full attention, watching Chongyun's reactions carefully.

He watches his cat-like pupils widen just the barest bit before they settle, which to anyone else they would have missed, but to Xingqiu it told him Chongyun was about to deny this claim into the ground.

"No. I'm alright." He shakes his head on cue, but the permanent blush on his cheeks gets a little pinker, and Xingqiu frowns a bit at his denial.

"I'm quite positive something's the matter. Your been especially tense lately." He comments. He has many other reasonings to back up this claim, and they both know it. It's just a matter of how much Chongyun wants to play this game or not when he knows he'll lose.

Xingqiu was not one to give up in his pursuit of anything worth his while or attention, and Chongyun certainly fell into that category just beside justice.

"That's just because it's been hot lately." He says despite the edge to his voice and his lips tightening a bit, closing his eyes so his frosty lashes hide his eyes.

Despite how much Xingqiu would certainly love to admire him right now, he has bigger things to tackle.

"You've been seeming more and more distracted lately too. And I notice that you hug your hoodie particularly tight in your arms after you take it off." He continues. He doesn't know how these are related, and he doesn't even know what's wrong, but if he just lets Chongyun believe he does, he reckons he'll crack and tell the truth.

"I just don't want to risk losing it. And I've been busy lately. You know that." He says, but despite the way Chongyun tries to make his voice sound firm and serious, Xingqiu knows that's not really him. It's never really been him.

Despite Chongyun's trying to keep his emotions in check, Xingqiu knows when he's being himself even with the walls up, and when he's being extra hard in himself.

Chongyun's like an open book to him, one he knows all too well and has read and inspected every page of to scour any details he may have missed. If Chongyun can't bring himself to let up a bit on his emotional training (which Xingqiu doesn't chastise him too much for, after all, he's hardly the person he really is half the time around family and company), he's always at least wanted to be able to find the details hidden in his expressions and actions that can help him regardless.