Evan: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Prof.Red: A horrible decision, really.
---
Evan, texting: Ava, will you please go to sleep?
Ava, texting back: What makes you think you didn't just wake me up?
Evan, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!
Evan, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin' to sleep soon?
Ava, texting: I'm trying
Evan, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH
Evan, texting: Okay, don't stay up too late or you'll be cranky :)
---
Prof.Red: *walks into the room*
Evan: They're covered in blood again. Why is it they're always covered in blood?
Ava: Well, it looks like it's their own blood this time.
---
Ava: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from?
Prof.Red: Illinois.
Ava: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO!
Evan: Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves.
---
Ava: Would you rather kill Prof.Red, or—
Evan: Yes, kill them.
Ava: I didn't say the other thing—
Evan: I don't need to hear it.
Prof.Red: ...I'm feeling a little unsafe.
---
Prof.Red: Ava, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
Ava: Evan, Prof.Red wants you to get out of the house.
---
Prof.Red: Where's Ava?
Evan: Around.
Prof.Red: Around?
Prof.Red: You don't have any idea, do you?
Ava, dropping down from above: Did you know there's a space above the ceiling?
---
Evan: Prof.Red, I am questioning your sanity...
Ava: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.
---
Evan: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.
Ava: "If"
Prof.Red: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.
YOU ARE READING
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