Evan: Assistant, can I ask you a question?
Assistant: You just did.
Evan: Okay, can I ask you two questions?
Assistant: You just did.
Evan, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!
Assistant: You just did.
Evan: When?!
Assistant: Just now.
----
Demon: Guess what?
Ava: What?
Demon: No, you have to guess.
Ava, thinking: I don't know.
Demon: Professor Red is in the hospital.
Ava: Why would you make me guess that?!
Ava: What happened?!
(demon stabbed him-)
---
Assistant, at Pheonix's funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Assistant, leaning over Pheonix′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.
Pheonix: Yeah, no shit.
---
Pheonix: What happened to Professor Red?
Evan: They died.
Pheonix: They what?
Evan: They died, but they're okay.
Pheonix: ...Can you please clarify?
Professor Red: Clarification is for the weak.
---
Assistant: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as... people I met.
---
Pheonix: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Ava: Take them!
Demon: Punch them in the neck!
Evan: Say thank you!
Professor Red: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Pheonix: ...
Pheonix: No.
---
Assistant: The 'how the fucks' and 'why are you so dumbs' don't matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
---
Assistant: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.
---
Ava: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
Professor Red: Ava, it's four o'clock in the morning.
Ava: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
---
Pheonix: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Professor Red: If I was married to you I'd drink it.
---
Pheonix: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Assistant: Several traffic violations.
Ava: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Professor Red: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Evan: Also, that's not our car.
---
Demon: Even Professor Red and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.
Professor Red: I mistook them for a garbage can.
---
Professor Red: If I die, you can have what little I own.
Ava: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?
Professor Red: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.
Ava:
Ava: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.
---
Evan: Professor Red, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.
Professor Red: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?
---
Assistant: Professor Red, I got suspended from school...
Professor Red: WHAT?!?! What did you do?
Assistant: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said "there is an idiot at the end of this ruler".
Professor Red: And...?
Assistant: I asked which end...
Professor Red, unable to contain their laughter: Okay, you just made my day.
---
Demon, to Ava: I mean, I get complimented all the time-
Pheonix: *starts cackling*
Demon: I do!
Pheonix: *laughs harder*
---
Ava: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Evan: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Ava: Not when you're playing with Assistant, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."
---
Professor Red: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Evan: Did Pheonix say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Professor Red: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
---
Ava: Compliment me.
Assistant: You have eyes.
Ava: Yeah, that works.
---
Professor Red, at Demon: Of course you have blood all over you, and pronouns.
---
Evan: Why did you kidnap Demon!?!?!
Ava: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...
Professor Red: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.
Evan: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!
---
Professor Red: Get in, loser, we're committing vehicular manslaughter!
YOU ARE READING
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FanfictionAs it Says, Incorrect Quotes! Lets see What everyone gets themselves into-
