FavreMySabre Incorrect Quotes (SS/SSO/RQ/SL)

Forest Child 118 (Prof Fam)

Professor Red: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

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Professor Red: Hey, Evan?

Evan, playing a video game with the squad: What?

Professor Red: Can I share something with you from earlier today?

Evan: Wh- what is it, Professor Red?

Professor Red: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning.

Evan: Mhm.

Professor Red: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend?

Evan: Yeah?

Professor Red: Your response.

Evan: *trying not to crack up*

Professor Red: At 9:30 in the morning.

Professor Red: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit"

Evan: *laughing*

Professor Red: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization.

Evan: You just made me dieeee...

Professor Red: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."

Professor Red: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you.

Professor Red: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man"

Evan: *wheezing with laughter*

Professor Red: I respond "Evan, you're scaring me." An hour passes-

Professor Red: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg"

Professor Red: "im very tired"

Evan: *struggling to breathe*

Professor Red: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Evan, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-"

Professor Red: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later,

Professor Red: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook"

Professor Red: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later,

Evan: *falling over with laughter*

Professor Red: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

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Demon, wearing shades: Rule one of destroying the world.

Demon: *does finger guns* You gotta look good while doing it.

(Nobody likes you BIT-)

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