100 Ways To Get Hurt

43.

*you're having lunch with your friend at a terrible 2 star restaurant because..... no money? And.........food?*

You: "are you going to make it to Sharkishas birthday party?"

Friend: "sorry my parents said no"

Waiter: "what would you like to order"

You: "I would like-" *list a bunch of things you'll probably or probably not regret eating*

Friend: "I'll have a salad and some water please"

You: *gives off a suspicious look* "you okay?"

Friend: "yeah, I'm fine"

You: *doesn't believe a word your friend said*

Waiter: *writes down your order* "your order will be here in about 5 minutes"

*30 minutes later*

You: *ಠ_ಠ*

Waiter: "here you go" *gives you food 30 minutes late then leaves*

You: "what the actual-"

Friend: "there was probably a problem in the kitchen or something"

*you both eat your meal*

Waiter: "would you like to give us a tip?"

You: "yes, actually I would like to give two tips"

Friend: "oh no..."

You: "first of all, don't interrupt people while they're obviously eating, and second of all when you say 5 minutes IT DOESN'T MEAN 30!"

Friend: "what my friend meant to say was-"

You: "that your service sucks and I understand you're trying to make money but I'll definitely not be coming back here, instead I'll invite the people I don't like to this restaurant, I like your shoes though, I apologize for my um...'behavior'... thank you and goodbye" *actually give 1$ for a tip because...nice?*

Friend: "thank you for your service"

Waiter: *smiles* "thank you, I've been trying to quit this job but I can't, I'm glad you understand, have a good dayಥ⌣ಥ"