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_Holly-Marie_ i wish you were here to see them, but you weren't as lucky as me and grandma. i found her by the way. When i went to America i sat next to grandpa, he helped me through my panic attack and when i found out it was him, he told me about when you were younger. it broke my heart having to tell them about your death, we were sitting in the hospital room with grandma and when i eventually managed to tell them we sat there crying for hours. i hope I've made you happy and proud of me. ive learnt to control my DID and i have been clean for over two years. me and will are married, we got married a year after losing River, promise me you will look after her as if she is your own child. it was everything i ever wanted. everyone i loved in one place celebrating together. you really would've enjoyed it. i would've loved for you to walk me down the aisle and i know you would have wanted to. everyday I miss you more and more would be willing to give up everything for you to see me once more. i really would give up everything. but i know that it's impossible you're not going to walk through the door and hug me. thank you for promising me that life would always get better, for persuading me many times that my life was worth it. i love you mom. i always have and i always will.
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I posted the Instagram and put my phone on the dresser, picking up the photo frame and rubbing my thumb across it. It had a picture of me, my mom and Colleen. We all looked so happy, if only times were so simple. We were a full family. A happy family.
"You ok?" I nodded small as I wiped away a tear I didn't know had escaped my eye. "Ye I'm fine. Just thinking about how different life was 7 years ago. Everything was so different." I place the frame back down onto the dresser and walked over to the wardrobe. "It has changed for the best. Yes we've had ups and downs but they've made us stronger." I grab my jacket and place it on the bed before turning to Will and hugging him. "I'm going back to my old house today. I want to see if there's anything there that I want to have here." I never got rid of the house when my mom died for a while Will would helped me pay the bills but after my channel started growing I paid for it fully. "You want me to come or do you want to go alone?" I had a plan and I knew that Will would disagree with me straight away so this was my opportunity. "Alone please. If I need help I'll call you." I kiss his cheek as I leave the room pulling my arm through my jacket sleeve. "Bye mommy!" I hear Hope and Ocean call from the other room. "Bye babies. See you later."
I step out the door and as soon as I get of the estate I park in a car park and grab my phone. I click onto my contacts and get to who I want to call before hovering over the call button and deciding whether I should be doing this or not. Fuck it. If it goes wrong we'll sort it out when it comes to it. Right now I have a sister to talk to.
