1.
lucas: i know what genealogy is. it's when you rub a lamp and get three wishes.
renjun:
renjun: you know, i've met bread smarter than you.
2.
yangyang: are we fighting or flirting?
xiaojun: my hands are literally wrapped around your neck.
yangyang: that doesn't answer my question.
3.
kun: what did you do?
winwin, with the kitchen burning behind him: my best.
4.
kun: where are you taking hendery and yangyang?
ten: taking them to the bar to teach them how to get free drinks.
kun: you're teaching them to prostitute themselves for a margarita?
ten: first of all prostitution is a respectable profession when done under the workers personal decision. i would be proud of my boys if that's who they choose to be.
kun: ten!
ten: but boys only do it for older women, they're the only ones you can trust. and i would only feel comfortable if you did it in the house.
kun: ten!
5.
chenle: [kicks door open looking panicked]
kun: what did you do?
chenle: NOBODY DIED!
kun: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?
6.
stylist: how would you like your hair cut?
yangyang: preferably with scissors, but a sword would be badass.
7.
xiaojun: i'm a confident driver.
kun: you almost ran over hendery.
xiaojun: i did it with confidence though.
8.
ten: all in all, a 100% successful trip!
kun: guys, we lost yangyang.
ten: all in all, a 100% successful trip!
9.
lucas: [gasp]
kun: what?
lucas: what if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in spanish?
kun: what the fuck?
10.
hendery: cool you have a squirrel?
renjun: that's a hamster.
xiaojun: you've seen a squirrel before, we've been to the park.
hendery: anyway kun won't let us have a pet. he said yangyang is our pet.
xiaojun: he's MY pet. you always forget to feed him.
renjun: that reminds me. i left chenle in his cage without lunch again.
11.
lucas: we're adults.
lucas: when did that happen?
lucas: and how do we make it stop?
12.
yangyang: i am the one who got us into this mess, so i'll be the one to get us much, much deeper into this mess.
13.
hendery: dear santa. i've been good all year.
hendery: most of the year.
hendery:
hendery: once in a while.
hendery:
hendery: never mind. i'll buy my own shit.
14.
winwin: i never understand angry ghosts. they're already dead, what's there to be angry about?
ten: that they're dead.
winwin: yeah, i guess it depends on how you look at things.
15.
hendery: halloween is my favourite holiday.
kun: because of the costumes?
hendery: because you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.
16.
yangyang: any news?
doctor: i'm just waiting for your x-ray.
yangyang: i've never dated anyone named ray.
doctor: ... and we might have to do a brain scan.
17.
ten: i told you to do something about the sheep in our dorm.
lucas: i know, i did.
lucas: i named her linda and she likes doughnuts.
18.
xiaojun: it says here ''dogs without leashes will be fined $100".
winwin: [sobbing] THEY DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!
19.
kun: what's on your mind?
lucas: did you ever realize that you never wash your hands... they wash themselves?
kun: i shouldn't have asked.
20.
winwin: frankly, it's been a little bit difficult to trust you since you had that little episode last summer.
hendery: and what episode was that?
winwin: the one where you faked your own death to have a fruit basket sent to the dorm.
YOU ARE READING
NCT incorrect
Non-FictionNone of these are mine. Just a collection from Twitter and Tumblr.