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1.


jaehyun: i don't want to ruin ourfriendship, but i'd actually like to touch your ass.

taeyong: ruin it.


2.


johnny: oh, we're out of cereal water.

taeil: we're out of what now?

johnny: cereal water :(

doyoung: he's talking about milk. the fucker is talking about milk.


3.


[christmas morning in the dorm]

taeyong: oh winwin! there's a present for you.

winwin, coming out of his room and looking at the tree: oh for the love of-

yuta who had put a bow on his head and sat himself near the tree: MERRY CHRISTMAS! 


4.


johnny: if i were a drink, i'd be a cherry coke! if you were a drink what would you be?  

doyoung: bleach.  

yuta: sewage.  

johnny: alright, calm down edgelords.


5.


taeyong: WHY THE FUCK AREN'T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?

ten: THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?


6.


taeil, flirting with winwin: did it hurt?  

winwin: what?  

taeil: did it hurt when you fell from heaven?  

yuta, sliding an arm around winwin: no it didn't. because i was there to catch him.


7.


[on twitter] 

doyoung: i have been told that i'm too negative and hostile towards my members. so to all of my members, if my tweets have offended you, i humbly apologize. i honestly didn't think you could read.


8.


taeyong: this cookie is too sweet, the texture is runny because it isn't fully baked. if i had to rate this cookie, i'd give it three points. 

taeil: jaehyun baked it.

taeyong: 

taeyong: out of three points.


9.


johnny: i don't thing that shirt suits you.

johnny: or those trousers.

johnny: good god, those pants are just hideous.

ten: johnny, you're stripping me!


10.


doyoung: okay everyone, if you have any objections they are free to go in the suggestions box.

johnny: doyoung, that's a trash can.

doyoung: exactly.


11.


johnny: hey, you should run. going to meetings, writing stuff down. you love that nerd stuff.  

doyoung: writing stuff down is nerdy? what do you do?  

johnny: i just forget stuff like a cool person.


12.


taeyong: you know, everyone just wants to be liked and accepted.   

doyoung: well, except for yuta. he just doesn't give a shit.   

taeyong: okay, yeah. erveryone except for yuta. 


13.


yuta: it's quite dangerous here, do you wanna hold hands?  

winwin: [takes yuta's hand while blushing]

doyoung: we're in the supermarket.


14.


ten: does this outfit make me look short?

taeyong: no.

jaehyun: WE make you look short.


15.


johnny: we saved our best idea for last.

doyoung: if it's our best idea, why did we leave it for last?

johnny: because we didn't know it was the best idea until the other ideas turned out to be terrible.


16.


[somewhere in china a few years before nct isn't a thing]

bully: ha lol i'm gonna bully you now.

winwin:  

[in japan]

yuta: why do i feel like i need to go punch someone-


17.


judge: do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

doyoung: no.

judge:

judge: what the hell am i gonna do now?

doyoung: please just kill me. 


18.


taeil: what's up?

jaehyun: the sky.

taeyong: gas prices.

yuta: this dick.

kun: [hesitantly] n-not much, what a-about you?


19.


johnny: remember that time you dared me to lick a cactus?

taeyong: no, i said "johnny, don't lick the cactus" and you said "don't tell me what to do, taeyong" and then you licked the cactus.


20.


taeil: why are your tongues purple?

jaehyun: i had a blue slushie.

taeyong: and i had a red one.

taeil: oh?

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