1.
mark: god bless you.
johnny: not lately.
2.
taeyong: just because you can try something doesn't mean you should.
jisung, mixing avocado with peanut butter: he's got a point, chenle.
chenle: i think he was referring to you. [takes a sip of coffee with salt]
3.
taeil: ...so i'm always the lonely man aren't i?
taeyong: [kissing jaehyun] don't be so hard on yourself.
mark: [holding haechan's hand] what are you talking about? we're all gonna find the other half sooner or later.
johnny: [lying on ten's lap] perhaps you should go out more often.
winwin [spoonfeeding yuta]: you have all of us here with you don't worry.
taeil:
taeil: that doesn't help you know.
4.
johnny: haechan, that's it, you're grounded. i found a rap album hiding under your bed and it was the clean version. i didn't raise you to be such a nerd.
5.
lucas: oh come on i wasn't jealous! that's ridiculous!
jungwoo: you yelled at the guy because he asked me if I wanted a drink.
lucas: so?
jungwoo: he was a waiter!
6.
ten: [sneezes]
johnny: bless you.
ten: i'm already blessed everyday i spend with you.
johnny: ten.
ten: johnny.
renjun: moomin.
7.
jisung: dad, are you disappointed that i married a man?
taeyong: of course not. you see, jaehyun and i have been husbands for years.
taeyong: but i am disappointed because you two exchanged your last name. what the fuck is park chenle and zhong jisung?
8.
mark: there's someone in this house who's possessed by an owl.
jungwoo: who?
mark: that's the thing, we don't know-
mark: [narrows eyes]
9.
taeyong: so kids, what do you do if you find a dead person?
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NCT incorrect
Non-FictionNone of these are mine. Just a collection from Twitter and Tumblr.