NCT incorrect

150.

1.

skydiving instructor: we're not letting you jump out of this plane without a parachute! 

lucas, wearing a propeller hat: you gotta trust me, man!

2.

kun, reading a letter ten wrote: dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. be ice cream or be nothing. 

kun: [sigh]

3.

hendery and yangyang: [t-posing, staring each other intensely in the eyes[

kun: what are you doing? 

hendery and yangyang: [in unison] flirting.

4.

lucas: life's so hard.

lucas: [takes out a cigarette]

hendery: i didn't know you smoked.

lucas: [eats half of it] it's chocolate.

5.

winwin: STOP disrespecting my sub-unit. 

winwin: xiaojun is THOUGHTFUL AND STRONG.

winwin: ten is PRINCIPLED AND SINCERE. 

winwin: lucas is SELFLESS AND KIND. 

winwin: yangyang is... 

winwin: 

winwin: kun is A SAINT.

6.

lucas: do you know what i just realized? 

xiaojun: that some thoughts are better left unexpressed? 

lucas: nice try.

7.

yangyang: [crunching sounds]

xiaojun: 

yangyang: those are the bones of my enemies. 

xiaojun: 

xiaojun: you're eating raw pasta.

8.

ten: oh shit... 

kun: that's $10 in the swear jar. 

ten: [hands him a $20] keep the fuckin' change.

9.

yangyang: i'll be the first one to admit that this did not go according to plan. 

yangyang: 

yangyang: i will also be the first one to admit that the plan was written in crayon.

10.

winwin: how do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? i got out of bed once and i've been exhausted since. 

ten: you need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself.

11.

xiaojun: i don't struggle with anxiety, it actually comes very easy to me.

12.

hendery: is there a way to cut ties with toxic people? 

lucas: go your separate ways? 

kun: focus on yourself. 

renjun: with a knife.

13.

yangyang: let's distract them by setting their couch on fire. 

winwin: that's stupid. 

winwin: setting the whole house on fire would be far more effective.

14.

kun: how can you eat cute animals? 

ten: easily. preparing and cooking animals is a large part of it, of course. 

lucas: you cook your food? 

kun: 

ten: 

ten: how haven't you died by now? 

lucas: sheer willpower.

15.

weather man: today there will be heavy rain and winds all day.

kun: it's been hot all day. what's going on?

ten: oh god it's a recording. [turns on the real tv]

newscaster: three out of the four young men who terrorized santa's village have been apprehended. the youngest is apparently the ringleader and the tallest of them is still at large. he claims he wasn't apart of it and the other claims the elves started it.

kun: let's go. tell winwin to pick chenle up from school.

ten: this is the third time this month.

16.

hendery: i love sleep. 

hendery: it's like dying but with breakfast at the end.

17.

winwin: [walks into the kitchen]

yangyang: [is wearing gloves and googles and wielding a sandwich together]

winwin: alright, we're gonna skip the "what?" and go straight to "why?".

18.

kun: i do not snore! 

ten: PLEASE, i had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the curtains.

19.

hendery: i think winwin heard me crying 'cause he just cracked open my door and slid a piece of cake into my room.

20.

kun: xiaojun, go check on chenle and see if he's asleep.

xiaojun: [walks halfway up the stairs] HEY YOU ASLEEP?

chenle: [frantically pauses videogame] YEAH I'M SLEEPING!

xiaojun: [runs back downstairs] he's asleep, he just told me.

kun: wait what-