1.
kun: winwin, you're in charge while i'm away.
winwin: alright, i'm your man.
kun: don't do anything stupid.
winwin: okay, i'm kinda your man.
kun: please keep renjun and yangyang from bullying lucas.
winwin: ... and you need another man.
2.
hendery: school doesn't even test your intelligence. it tests your memory.
xiaojun: it tests my patience.
yangyang: it tests my ability to hold my pee.
renjun: it tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch.
3.
yangyang: how did none of you hear what i just said?
lucas: i've zoned out for the last two and a half hours.
chenle: i got distracted about halfway through.
renjun: ignoring you was a conscious decision.
4.
lucas: god gave me two hands for a reason.
ten: and what was that reason?
lucas: to pet two dogs at the same time.
5.
ten: hey kun, do you have a bag i can borrow?
kun: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
6.
winwin: you promise you didn't get me a box of bees again?
renjun and yangyang, standing from a safe distance: just open it.
7.
kun: send me words of encouragement during the meeting so i don't kill anyone today.
ten: you can't take yangyang to prison with you.
8.
lucas: are you okay?
renjun: i'm fine.
lucas: what does "fine" mean?
renjun: it means i'm perfectly content but also wouldn't mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all.
9.
xiaojun: tall people, if we're walking together please take my tiny legs into consideration. i can't keep up with you. i don't want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll.
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NCT incorrect
Non-FictionNone of these are mine. Just a collection from Twitter and Tumblr.