Distant

Distant: Chapter 25

I start with the dishes, then move on to picking up trash. The house actually wasn't that bad it just looked like it. All that was really left was to sweep and take out the trash. I look for the broom for about twenty minutes. "Where is this damn broom." I whisper to myself irritated. I finally find it in a random ass closet. Of course it's in the last place I look. I sweep the kitchen and living room floor and dump it in one of the two trash bags. I tie the bags and set them down as I put a new one in the trash can. I then pick the bags back up and walk out back and throw them away. I hear someone's foot steps and jump. I look around and don't see anybody. Oh hell nah. I run inside and into the kitchen. Should I wake someone up. No it was probably just an animal. I hear the back door open. I freak out and grab a knife. I hear someone walking my way. I see someone appear around the corner and point the knife out, only to see Colby. Colby looks up and jumps. "It's fine. I can't possibly hurt you more than you've hurt me." I say with my head down.  "Adalyn it wasn't like that." He begs as soon as he realizes it was me. His eyes were red and face slightly puffy. "Colby I want to believe you I really do, because I love you, probably more than I even love myself. But I..." "Please." He half begs "Just tell me that wasn't you, tell me you were drugged anything. Just tell me that you didn't willing go up to your room with her. That you didn't make out with her willingly and I'll forgive you." I say in full tears. "I can't." "Then I can't be with you Colby." I go to the front door and walk out. Colby jogs after me. "Adalyn, I was vulnerable and she was there, but I love you." "If your idea of love justifies cheating over 'vulnerability' then I don't want it." "God this is all my fault! Why can't anyone love me back for once. Am I that bad." "No, I do love you" He says softly. "Maybe you loved me, but one thing I've learned is, no one ever loves me for too long." "Adalyn. I swear.. I would never stop loving you. Remember at the hill. I would never try to hurt you." "You should stop making promises you can't keep then." I sigh. "It's always me!" I yell, in tears. "I may have been abused by my uncle or ex, yeah they even messed with me mentally, but they never hurt me this bad. Those were just scratches. You've manged to completely break me. Maybe all I can expect from love is to get broken by it. Please just leave me alone." "Not without a fight." He weakly protests. "There's no point anymore, you already won. You had me, but you chose to let go." I say turning around and walking across the street and to my house. I open the door and rush to my room. As soon as I get there I lock the door and fall to the ground. I begin to sob as quietly as possible. I start to think of what I did wrong. Where did I go wrong. Clearly I wasn't good enough. No one ever truly loves me. I can't blame them, I don't even love myself right now. I somehow managed to push away the one person I loved the moment I laid eyes on him and I don't even know what I did wrong.  I cried the whole night until I eventually just fell asleep on the floor. I woke up the next morning to knocking on the door. "Addy are you okay?" Jane asks through the door. "Yeah. I just want to be alone." "Okay." She says sympathetically, which just killed me even more. Last night I didn't dream of anything. I don't think my mind was capable of dreaming. I felt completely empty, empty of thought, empty hearted, and empty of every emotion, but sorrow. The whole day I didn't do anything, but stay in my room. I didn't even eat. The only thing I did was occasionally cry. I tried to sleep, but it didn't work. Maybe my mind wasn't completely empty, because every time I closed my eyes I pictured Colby and that girl.