Distant

Distant: Chapter 36

"Okay." Tara says sympathetically. "The four of you should go." She continues. I look at her confused. "Four?" I ask. "You, Sam, me and Colby." Kat tells me. "Colby...?" I whisper. Even Colby's name sounded bitter sweet and I still don't know why. Tara calls the boys and with in five minutes we hear a knock on the door. I see Colby's face and it looks just as bad as mine right now. My heart finds a way to break even more, making me almost too weak to walk. "Adalyn." He whispers. "Please, don't talk to me, you'll just make it worse." I say holding back tears. I hear kat unlock her car doors, and I walk past him avoiding eye contact. We all get into the car. I close the door and lay my head against the window. Colby sits in the back next to Sam and I can feel his eyes on me. I want to tell him to stop, but I feel bad, so I let him stare. I just don't look back. It's not even because I'm mad, but because I'm afraid it'll make me cry. We finally make it to the mountain. We all step out. To the slight breeze. "Oh I have jackets in the car." Kat says. Sam and Kat go to get them, leaving Colby and I alone for a moment. It only took but a minute, but that minute felt like the longest minute of my life. Another flash causes me to fall. I was washing of make- up. It felt like forever, then I open the door to a lust filled Colby. Without me realizing it, Colby is right by my side. I look him in the eyes. His eyes are filled with worry. I hug him, not knowing why. "Why did I love you so much? After everything I know you've done, why do I still love you?" I cry clinging onto Colby. "Adalyn, my heart breaks just thinking about it, but your right, I don't deserve you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. That's all I could want for you no matter how bad it hurts me if that persons not me." He cries. "I don't understand." I whisper. Colby half pulls away, still hugging me, but looking at me now too. "As much as it hurts, I don't think there's anything else to understand." He says completely letting go of me. As Colby let's go of me. I I feel an emptiness. Like my world is leaving. "Who are you!" I yell in tears. "Nobody to you." He says with his head down. "Stop it. Why are you giving up on me.  I should be giving up on you right now." I say, making my voice cracking with every word and mourn like witnessing my own heart die.  "You haven't given up." He barely let's out before stepping closer a kneeling towards me once again. "No Colby. I know you broke my heart, but I know I loved you. I know I still do because it hurts me just looking at you this sad. It hurts me to hear your voice crack. It hurts me to see a distance in your eyes that I know I've never had to see before. I know when I see a look of love, sorrow, or even lust, I feel the exact same way." "How do you know you've never felt that distance with me?" He says in a shaky voice. "I just do. I know that even if you hurt me a thousand times I'll probably come running back." "Please. Don't give me that kind of power." He begs. "I would never want to hurt you." He says, while now looking in my eyes wich so much emotion, I feel a burning pit in my stomach. "Somehow I know that." I say in a broken voice, finally completely meeting his eyes. "Your not giving up on me?" Colby asks with hopeful, yet sad eyes. "I never did. I never could. The best I could do is try if you wanted me too." I say looking back down. "I just think it's better for you, well thought... I don't know. I just want you to be happy and I don't know if I can do that for you. I mean look at us right now." He says holding my hands. "You have no right." I say snatching away my hands. Colby shoots his head up in confusion.