Distant

Distant: Chapter 65

"I don't know, maybe it's just easier." I say feeling conflicted within myself. "What it'll be easier for you to kiss someone else like Noah." Colby says as he unwraps his arms from me. "Excuse me what?" I say as tears down my face. "You heard me." He says in a low voice, but still loud enough for me to hear. "No maybe it's because it'll hurt less, because when you go and fuck your ex I can tell myself you didn't cheat. Maybe because I want to believe your a good person who loves me and wouldn't cheat, or accuse me of it. Guess I was wrong about both those things." I say as tears stream down my face. Colby starts to speak as he gets up. "Please just don't right now." I say and walk out of the room. "Adalyn I didn't mean it like that." Colby begs as he follows me. "You never do." I say before walking out. I walk across the street to my house, but decide it's better not to go in. I really don't feel like explaining myself to everybody. I'll just go on a walk I don't know to where, but I really don't care I just need to leave. I know I can't drive, because I'd crash from blurry vision. I start walking and thinking of Colby. My eyes are so full of tears I can't see more than a foot in front of me. I'll just go to the park two blocks down. I doubt I can get any further than that anyways. My mind varies through different thoughts all about Colby. I just don't get it. It's like he let's me go, but he doesn't want to lose me. Fuck it's always me. This shit always happens to me. I just need a break. I can't do this anymore, but I can't leave him, I love him to much. "What have you done to me Colby Brock." I whisper to myself, but it comes out more of a whimper. It's not even my fault I live right next to the man. How could I expect myself to get over him. I get to the park and sit on a bench. As soon as I sit down I let it all go. I start breaking down in tears. I can't do this, I need to move. That's crazy I can't move I have no where to go it would take forever finding a place. By that time I'd be right back in Colby's arms. 'But you like it there.' My subconscious reminds me. Just then I hear someone approaching me. I can't tell who they are, I just see a blur from my tears. Then I hear a voice as I wipe my eyes. "Oh my God. Adalyn are you okay." I hear Andrew say as he sits next to me. "Yeah I'm fine." I say, clearly a lie. Andrew wraps his arm around me. "You don't have to, but you can talk to me." Andrew says trying to comfort me. I sniff a few times trying to catch my breath, before looking at him. He has a soft gaze in his eyes, one of both worry and love. He looks at me the way I look at Colby when I'm worried about him. That's it! I can stay with Andrew. That may not be a good idea though I know Andrew likes me. Actually so what it's not like I'm with Colby, he clearly doesn't want to be with me. 'He just spent all that work on a date. You know it's more complicated than that.' My subconscious tells me. 'You know you still love him.' My subconscious says. "Adalyn? Hello. Are you okay?" Andrew says, snapping me out of my thoughts. Fuck my conscious it's not like anything is going to happen and I can't waite for Colby forever. "Can I stay with you for a while?" I ask looking up at Andrew. "Uh yeah sure." He says kind of confused. "Thank you." I say pulling him into a tight hug. Andrew hugs me back and I can picture the smile on his face. Then a picture of Colby smiling when I grabbed his hand early today popped in my head. It took everything in me and I even shed another tear doing it, but I pushed that thought out of my head. It really hurts, but I know I can't just be friends with Colby, but I know I can't seem to be with him either. There's nothing left to do, but leave and try to forget him at least for now. "You ready to go?" Andrew asks, pulling away. I forgot I was still holding him. "Yeah." I reply.