Elephants - A OneRepublic/Ryan Tedder Fanfic

Chapter 85

I stayed in my room for what felt like hours, I felt the need to sing and write. What I really wanted was to go see Amy, but I can’t. She’s probably with Daniel anyway. I picked up my guitar, playing away. Singing what came to mind. The unhappy part of me shone through, Small Bump and You Could Be Happy are two songs that helped me feel slightly less awful. That’s why I love music, you can get things off your chest and feel better even if it is for only a few minutes.

 

 

 

“Is she okay?” Is that Zach? Must have come to have a go at me.

“No, I don’t know what’s up. She hasn’t stopped crying. She can’t speak.” Adam sounded so worried. The door opened and I saw the concern on Zach’s face too. He came in slowly, treating me like some scared wild animal. So, I pulled him into a hug. He just held me for a while.

“Why did I do it? What was I thinking?” My voice was so quiet.

“It’s okay.”

“He hates me. I messed up. I wasn’t thinking. I was stupid. Why? WHY?” More hysteria, it would be embarrassing if I could bring myself to care.

“What happened? Tell me what went on.” I looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

“I was drunk, pretty drunk. And Danny was too. Ryan had vanished and not left a note or anything. I was upset, we drank some more and it just happened. I can’t even begin to describe how awful I feel. I’m a heartless bitch.” Zach continued to hold me close.

“Why don’t we try and talk to him.” He suggested, leading me from the room.

“He hates me. I don’t blame him. I hate me.” I mumbled. Zach stayed silent. As we approached the door I saw something that broke my heart even more. A bag, a suitcase, I fell to the floor.

‘Here’s your stuff. I don’t want to see you right now. Inside is a CD, that’s why I was gone. A present for you. I will always love you. But I can’t be with you. I can’t do this again.’ I saw the tear stains, some mine and some his. I held it to my chest and cried silently. Zach must have worked out what it said, because he just looked extremely sorry for me. I could hear Ryan playing guitar and singing through the door. ‘This’ by Ed Sheeran, the tears just kept on coming. He kept on singing, song after song. Wake Me Up, It Will Rain and Life without You which really killed me. Zach had come back with Adam.

“We need to go.” People were probably staring. But I couldn’t move. I don’t want to anything. I felt Adam lift me up, I tried to break free.

“LET ME GO! I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE. LEAVE ME ALONE. LET ME STAY!” I cried, they held on tighter.

“You’re making a scene.” Adam warned.

“I don’t want to go. I want to stay. I want to listen to him.” I repeated over and over again.

“I think she’s lost it.” Adam muttered to Zach, I couldn’t tell if he was being serious. “I promise you can still listen to his voice, we can put it on as soon as you get into bed.”

“I don’t have a bed.” I realised. “He threw me out.” Any sanity I had left disappeared, I was left a blubbering mess in Adam’s arms.

I could hear her crying and later her screams as someone made her move away. It broke me. Even more than before. But I had to let her go, I have too. It’s what’s best for us all. I’m sure. Zach wandered in, he looked tired and upset.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”  He warned as he sat down.

“Meaning?”

“She is refusing to eat, drink or talk. She is currently in Adam’s bed with anything that has your voice in it on as loud as she can, crying her eyes out, still holding onto the note you wrote and with a t-shirt of yours she found in the suitcase in the other hand.” I’ll admit, I worry about her, of course I do. But this is better. “If this doesn’t get out we are lucky. She was screaming, which I’m sure you heard and Adam thinks she has lost it. And, she does seem slightly insane. She’s talking to herself, mumbling things about how she fucked up and you hate her and bla bla bla. And she just repeats it. This is only when she decides to talk.”

“If you came here to make me feel guilty it’s not working.” I lied, he knew it too.

“No, I came here to tell you how she is doing. Because, she is my friend too and even if you are sacrificing the relationship for this fuck up you should still care for her. Or accept the fact that we all want her to be okay.” He stood up.

“After Heather-“

“Enough about Heather!” Zach interrupted. “She was a bitch, she broke you. Get over it. Ryan, we have been so understanding with the whole thing. But, honestly you are letting it take over your life. Enough is enough. They are two very different people, and you gave Heather countless chances. But won’t give Amy another, we both know you love her so much more than Heather. Don’t lose her because you are too busy feeling sorry for yourself.” Then he walked out. No one had ever argued when I brought Heather up. He’s right though, I use it as an excuse and I use it to get out of situations and get my own way. I am an asshole. But, I can’t just forgive someone instantly. Not after that. I have to have some time. We should spend some time apart for both our sakes. I laughed, Amy would have loved that. And if a little tear escaped, well there is absolutely no evidence of it.

A/N - So, I am planning on bringing this story to an end soonish :( But, I want to write a sequel, if anyone has any ideas for a name that would be great XD Anyways, hope you are still enjoying this, please vote and comment :)