Elephants - A OneRepublic/Ryan Tedder Fanfic

Chapter 17 - Heather

When we got back to the house I went straight to my room, I just needed some time alone. I lay down on the bed, but in my headphones and put it on shuffle. It was one of those days when I just couldn’t be with people, I needed to think and plan and work this out. I wanted so much to lay here with Ryan, but at the same time I needed space. Needed to prove to myself I don’t need him.

I’m not sure what’s up. Did I mess up? All I know is Amy is acting weird today, she barely said a word on the walk. And that kiss, wow, I mean my mind went blank. I couldn’t think, if she only knew how much I wanted her. God, how does she do that to me? She went straight up to her room, part of me wanted to follow her, make her tell me what was wrong. But she pushed me away. Maybe she just needs time though. Urgh. Relationships are hard.

“Brent, did you notice something with Amy today?” I asked. I needed to know if it was just me, or if something was wrong.

“She seemed a bit distracted. I guess.” He replied. So it wasn’t just me who noticed, although Brent obviously didn’t think it was a problem. Or not a major problem. I got my laptop out and did some work, or attempted too. Not only was I behind, but I couldn’t focus. My mind kept drifting. Oh fuck it. I’m gunna check on her.

I knocked lightly on her door; no reply. I opened the door slowly and peeked in, she was asleep. Poor thing, she had curled up into a ball, her phone next to her. I looked at what she was listening to; ‘OneRepublic Rock’. A playlist for us? Wow. I mean I know people do that, but I thought she would be sick of us by now. I brushed the hair out of her face. She was so peaceful. I lay down next to her, I’m in deep. So deep. “I love you babe.” I kissed her forehead. I had a plan. One that might actually work. I ran down stairs and popped my head through the living room door.

“I’ll be back in half an hour.” I told the guys, before leaving the house and jumping on my motorbike – it’s usually in the bus, but I thought I might need it. Thank God I got it out.

 

I couldn’t find Ryan. Which is weird in itself, I got worried because he doesn’t know Carterton or the area. He could be lost.

“Do you know where Ryan is?” I asked the guys, who were watching some re-run cop show.

“He went out.” Zach informed me, not taking his eyes from the TV.

“Okay?” This was slightly weird. Brent wasn’t in the room, he’s probably in their studio trailer. He might have a better idea about where Ryan went. When I got in Brent was playing his cello, it was really beautiful, and people often overlook his talent. But he is amazing.

“Brent.” I said, alerting him I was here.

“Oh hi.” He replied smiling. “Looking for Ryan?” I blushed, I don’t know why, I guess because I’m so predictable. Or because I’m always thinking about him. I don’ know.

“Yeah, I can’t find him. Zach said he’s out.” I admitted.

“He didn’t say where he was going. He should be back soon, he said he would be half an hour.” Brent reported.

“Oh thanks.” I smiled at him.

“Has he told you about Heather?” Brent asked as I reached the door.

“Heather?” I guess that was answer enough.

“She’s his ex. He doesn’t like to talk about her.” I nodded, and took a seat near Brent. “That’s the only reason I’m telling you, because I know he won’t.” Brent explained. “He thought he loved her, for a while everything was great. They would go out all the time, always having a laugh, Ryan would always be smiling after spending time with her. They had been together a year or two, he wasn’t famous or anything. But it was always obvious he had talented.” He smiled, obviously thinking of good memories. I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. “I noticed something was up, but thought I was just being an overprotective dick. Then he found out she had been cheating on him, lying to him nearly every day. Honestly it nearly killed him. He was depressed, would barely leave the studio. Ate only when forced. He would write and record every second of everyday. He couldn’t bear to face the world, because she was his world for so long.” I couldn’t imagine how he felt, it must have been awful. “The best thing that came from it was ‘Apologise’, which became the thing that made our career. After we were more well-known she tried to get back with him, it was so hard for him to say no. Because he really wanted to be with her, but he could never trust her again.” There was a few moments of silence. That bitch. God, who would do that to Ryan? It’s unbelievable. “He loves you more. We didn’t think it was possible, but… If he lost you, he wouldn’t recover. Ever. It was difficult with her, with you it would be impossible. But at the same time he’s scared Amy. Scared of admitting it, to you, to himself, to everyone. I don’t mean the words ‘I love you’ I mean the actions, the small things. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.”

“I would never do anything to hurt him B. I can’t stand even thinking about being apart from him.” I admitted. He smiled at me fondly.

“I trust you. We all do. I just thought you should know.” He picked up his cello again, I guessed that was my cue to leave. I saw the motorbike, Ryan’s back! The smile on my face was unpreventable, just thinking about him made me happy. I’m going to prove how much I love him. I’m not sure how, but I’ll find a way.

A/N: I just wanted to say a massive thank you for reading this far :D It can't be easy, but trust me it gets better ;)