𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘

68 | chain of memories part 3

14 years ago...
Current location: Seoul
Jungkook is 8 yrs old

The monster in my head talks to me more often.

When I'm at school.

You don't belong anywhere.

When I'm at home.

Mommy and Daddy dearest dragged you out in the wild and look at you leeching off them.

In the classroom.

What the hell are you even doing here? You won't ever succeed. Your performance is pathetic in school and everyone is ashamed of you.

You're a lost cause.

No wonder why you have no one here.

Go die in a ditch.
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This isn't my home.

Seoul isn't my home.

I've never felt more alone and empty in my life. School is just a dreadful repetitive circle of torment as I'm forced to tolerate the terrible behavior of the other students. The stuff they teach here is boring and I have trouble participating during class. The teachers here think I'm a lost cause and the kids are not kind towards me either.

There have been times when I had to refrain from punching the idiots that made fun of me, but Mommy said that I shouldn't use violence to teach someone a lesson. Instead, she believes that talking things out with the other party will help resolve our argument.

However, I strongly disagree with her way of thinking, her principals. She's my mother so I have to listen to her whether I like it or not.

There's a hierarchy that establishes the rank of every single kid in the building. Back in Mandeok-dong this sort of thing wasn't very common at school. Things were pretty peaceful and mellow and I had a few friends I enjoyed spending time with. It saddens me, the fact that I won't be able to see them again.

I guess that's normal. At least that's what Father claims. His exact words were: 'It's for the best'.

But at what cost?

The very reason why we even moved from Busan to this mega city is because of his blooming business. He said that moving here is what's best for all of us. That way we won't ever struggle and he will earn a lot more money than he used to.

I hate the way he talks to me. As if I'm a child.

I mean—I am a child, but I'm not stupid. I am aware of what is going on around me and I understand the hidden meanings behind his words, so there's no need to sugarcoat it. That is no different than deceit.

Even though I don't have the best grades among my classmates, I like to think that I have a sharp mind. Unlike all the brains in here that automatically absorb all the information from their textbooks, I am quite skilled at reading between the lines. I might not be good at studying, but I am good at observing other people.

I am good at spotting liars. And I know when someone is keeping a secret.

Mommy knows about my talent and she doesn't underestimate me. On the other hand, Father treats me like I'm dumb as a rock.