Da Truth

Us

December 12th

"I been in love with you since I first saw you shawty, and we both knew that." Bash said, and I looked at him lost. "How are you upset cause I don't want to add any more additions to this family? Bashar, I never agreed to be a housewife, and I TOLD YOU. I'm a businesswoman before I'm anything else." I said, and he glared at me. "It feels like we just don't know how not to argue and or fight with each other," Bashar said. Then Barakah cried out from upstairs.  "Daddy!" He said, and I looked at Bashar. "Your son wants you," I said, walking to my study to go and finishing working on a script I was paid to write.

Hour later

"What's the best thing that has ever happened to you and or your most prized possession?" A young lady in the audience asked me. "The mom in me says, my two babies. The wife in me quickly blurt out my husband's name, but the businesswoman in me says, knowing my worth and finding my voice and self before I ever allowed anyone to tell me who I was." I said, and everyone looked at me like they weren't expecting those answers. "Also, my big sister because without her chasing her dreams and allowing me to be with her every step of the way, I wouldn't be here right now," I said.

"Would you rather be famous without a family of your own or broke with a loving family." A guy asked, and this time I spoke without thinking. "Famous, and before anyone gets mad, hear me out first. If I'm famous, I don't have to worry about if I'm doing things right. It's my art form, and everyone is just taking it in and getting the things they need from it. When I was pregnant, I used to hide in the closet and cry when I knew Bash was downstairs in the studio because I was scared. The things that raced through my mind was terrifying, like what if I finally went into labor, and they decided to save me and let the children die. Once I had them, and now that they're beginning to act like me, It scares me because what if I'm not enough. I'm smart, but I'm no, Einstein. I'm loving, but I'm not Mother Teresa. I'm Lovely. An emotionally fucked up Aries with an attitude problem and a wild as mouf." I said, taking a quick breath, then I began speaking again.

"My heart says broke with a loving family, but everything else in me wants to go back to when I first met Bash do it all over again but with more preparation. I was thrown into motherhood, and I'm doing a decent job, but If I was eased into it, I think I would be more confident." I said. Then I heard someone clear their throat. "Sorry yall, Lovely can be tough on herself at times and right now is one of them cause to the children and I think she's the best person we could've asked God for," Bashar said, then he finally stood up, and I looked down.

All the women in the audience "awwed." I mentally took in everything said in the last three minutes cause this was the most I've ever been vulnerable with my fans, and come to think of it, this is the most vulnerable I've been with anyone.