HEAVY MENTIONS OF ABUSE TW!!!
'So we.. um..' Alex Danvers, your long term girlfriend, who was very able at speaking the english language, was failing miserably.
'Alex.' You grabbed her hand.
'Just tell me what you need to do and I'll do it.' You said, squeezing her hand.
You knew she needed information about your father, needed to know his tactics and where he might be keeping Kara locked away.
'We need to go through your childhood memories of him.'
You tensed at that. Shit. That was one thing you hadn't been prepared for. But then you looked up into brown eyes and saw the desperation and desire to get Kara back to you guys. You were torn.
'Please. I wouldn't be asking if there was another way.' Alex said softly, noticing your discomfort.
'Okay.' You said without a thought. When Alex looked at you like that, you were never able to say no.
The hug you were rewarded with was worth it for the time being.
You were led into a room with a chair and wires on it.
J'onn, Winn, Alex, Mon-el and pretty much half of the DEO staff stood on the opposite side of the glass as you got wired in. They were all there to see the show. The show of your shitty dad. And you hadn't realised the amount of people that were going to be in your head. Your palms turned sweaty and your heart rate picked up. Fuck. This was bad. This was so very bad. You didn't remember a lot from your childhood, the therapist you saw for a few years telling you that memory loss was due to trauma. The things you did remember certainly weren't pleasant.
But you were strapped in already, the drug already coursing through your system and the screen behind you staring up.
Before the panic fully set in, your body slumped back and your eyes fell closed.
—-
You stared at the man before you. You tried to talk but all that came out was a gargle.
'Hmm, it seems you've done a good job Sarah.' He said, brushing his big, gravely finger across your cheek.
'Can I leave now?' A woman's voice cried out.
'Yes. You're dismissed.' He said, his eyes never leaving yours.
'Now it's just you and me.' The smirk on his face made you turn away slightly, before he used his finger to poke your cheek harshly back into place.
Then the vision faded.
—-
'Father.' You stood ramrod straight, scared to even move a muscle.
'What is it?' He glared at you from behind his work desk.
'Do I have a mother?' You asked. Your friends at school had told you about mother's and what they do for you but you didn't have one and felt left out.
'You did.' He chuckled.
'What- what happened to her?' You asked.
'She was... not needed anymore.' He said before looking back at his paper.
You stood, trying to figure out what that meant.
'Leave now. Dinner is not available to you tonight as you interrupted my work.'
You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to ask questions. You wanted to eat most of all. But you did none of it as your vision turned black.
—-
'Fuck you!' You shouted at him. This was the first time you had shouted at him. And to use that type of language? You were in for it now. You watched his eyes go hard. You stopped yourself from apologising, knowing it would do nothing to help and you wouldn't actually mean it.
He stepped up to you, slapping you hard with the back of his hand.
Your eyes watered at the stinging sensation.
He stepped out of the room and you drew in a shaky breath, rubbing your burning skin lightly.
But he came back a moment later, this time with a few rings on his other hand.
He slapped your other cheek, firmer, and you cried out quietly at the cuts the rings had left on your cheek.
'What did I tell you Little One? We don't use that language in this house.' He stormed off without another word, leaving you bleeding and broken, and you passed out.
—-
'Father.' You said as he walked into your room, waiting for his request.
'Little One.' He said back.
You let the uncomfortable silence linger, knowing he wouldn't tolerate you asking what this was about.
'Watch.' He said as he trailed his hand up his thigh, sitting on your bed and his eyes ever emotionless.
You obeyed, you always fucking obeyed.
He gently gripped his crotch area, staring at you and making sure your eyes were on his movements.
He unbuttoned his trousers and took them off, leaving him in his boxers.
He moved to take his pants down and you looked away, like you always did.
You heard the rustle of clothes and then there was a strong grip on your hair, tugging your head back towards him.
'Did I tell you to stop looking?' He growled.
'No father.' You responded.
'Keep watching.' He said and before he punched you into submission like usual, you swallowed the bile in your throat and looked down.
His hand was around his penis, slowly stroking it. It was clearly hard, and he squeezed at it lightly.
'Open.' He said, and you grimaced.
'I said open.' He tugged at your hair again and before you could do anything, used his other hand to force your mouth open.
You screwed your eyes shut as he entered your mouth roughly.
'Stay still Little One and I'll let you eat tonight.'
You didn't hear anything else, falling into a void of nothing.
—-
He stepped into the white room, disgust evident on his face.
'Little One.' He sat down next to your bed angrily.
'Father.' You said, quiet. Reserved. Done.
'This is truly your most stupid moment.' He sighed.
Your idiotic, childlike thought came into your mind. He cares.
But that was wrong. It was always wrong.
You looked down at the painful red lines on your wrist and felt like crying again.
'I'm sorry.' You whispered.
'Next time, cut deeper. This shows failure.' He stood back up, squeezing your wrist and ignoring your small yelp of pain.
'Cover them up. I don't want to have to look at them.' And with that he left.
Your head pounded, and you fell back on the bed.
—-
You felt alive under her lips, opening yours so her tongue could find your tongue. You moaned into her mouth, feeling lightheaded and hot. And then a door opened and you stumbled back.
You feared for Jade when you saw the look your Father was giving her.
'Little One.' He sounded strained.
'Father.'
'Tell your friend to leave.' He looked at Jade still, and you looked back at her to see red, kiss stained lips and desperately wanted to kiss them more.
She left, sensing the tense atmosphere and telling you she'd text you later.
'Your friend seems nice.' He said, walking to the dresser in your living room and opening a drawer.
You gulped.
'She isn't my friend Father.' You said.
'Oh?'
'She's my girlfriend.'
'So you admit you're a faggot?' He says, getting whatever was in the drawer and stalking towards you.
Your mouth felt dry and not nearly as good as it did a few minutes ago.
'Yes.' You said to the ground.
He lifted your chin up with his finger and without another word slammed his fist into your temple.
You fell to the floor, your head hitting the wooden floorboards. You looked up through bleary eyes to see him looking at the rings he had put on his fingers and heard him say something about washing blood off before you passed out.
—-
You ran. You were running so fast. And then, when you stopped running, you let out a breath. A breath of freedom. You knew it wouldn't last long. You knew he would find you again someday, punish you worse than ever before, but it was worth it. This freedom you finally had was worth it.
You felt a pull. A tug. And then blackness again.
——
You woke up and sat up quicker than you had in a long, long time, gulping air like it was water on a summer day.
When your eyes focused, you saw all the faces looking back at you through the glass. Some had tears running down there cheeks, whilst others just looked at you full of pity.
You turned your head, looking away from their guilt and into the eyes of J'onn, who had unwired you from the screen.
'Thank you. We found what we needed.' He said quietly, reaching out to squeeze your hand before retracting it and walking away without a word.
You watched him go, then watched the next person come in.
She crawled into the bed you were on and wrapped her arms around you, burrowed her head in your shoulder and cried.
Alex had never been good with her emotions, never really cried and never really opened up to anyone, not even Kara.
'I'm so sorry.' Was repeated into your skin until she had calmed down enough to look up at you.
'Alex-'
'You never deserved any of it. No one ever deserves any of it. Especially you. Especially. You.' She kissed you with enough force, and enough passion, for you to know she meant it.
You would cry later, in the comfort of your own bed, after you've found Kara. You would let down all your walls and let Alex walk into your heart to see the damage your father had caused. She would cry too, and you would both feel more healed than you had ever felt in the morning.
