'Lee... you should really think of stopping. It's late.' You stood in the dirt of her home offices, having dragged yourself out of her silk bed to come find her still tinkering over wires.
'Yeah five minutes love.' She replied, clearly lost in the world of electrics.
'You said that two hours ago. You need to sleep.' You rubbed your hand over your face.
'Yes but I'm busy.' She clipped and you sighed.
'You'll always be busy. But maybe you can get some rest and be busy in the morning.' You leant further into the doorframe.
'No. I need to finish this.'
'Lena-'
'Can you stop? I'm not fucking sleeping. End of.' She cut in sharply.
'It's not end of Lena. You need to sleep. It's unhealthy.' You replied back, trying in vain not to raise your voice.
'I've worked like this fine before.' She snarked.
'That was before me.' You fired back.
'So what? Now you're in my life I have to change myself? Absolutely not.' She was still fiddling with wires and you felt anger boiling.
'That's not what I mean and you know it. Sleep is a necessity Lena.'
'Not for me. Now leave me alone so I can work please.'
'Fuck Lena just come to bed!' Your patience had run thin.
'If you couldn't already tell, I'm busy.' She replied.
'Come to bed and sleep or so help me god-'
'You're so suffocating you know that? Leave. Me. Alone.' She spelt out, pushing her hair back.
'You are my girlfriend. It's my job to help-'
'I'm not some fucking broken toy to fix! I don't need your help or support, I'm fine on my own.' She shouted.
'I'm not trying to fix you. I'm trying to love you!' You shouted back.
'I've been unloved all my life. I can deal without love.'
'So why are you even with me?' You brought your hands up and your voice cracked.
'Fuck I don't know!' She shouted.
Hot tears fell down your face when she said that and she froze.
'No honey I didn't-'
'Don't.' You whispered, head hung and eyes and chest burning.
'That's not-'
'I said don't.' You shouted, and you looked up to see guilt and regret falling as tears down her face.
'I think I'm going to go.' You whispered.
'But-'
'I'll leave you alone so you can work.' You walked out of her office and out of her front door without another word. All of your overnight stuff was back at hers but you couldn't face her so you left it there and trudged home. It was cold, really cold and you found yourself shivering not half way there.
Once you got home and into bed, you couldn't sleep, much like the rest of your night. You couldn't tell Len she had to come sleep so you could too. It scared you how reliant you are on her warmth next to you but craved it constantly, even now, when you sobbed into your pillow because she doesn't know.
The next day you woke up with a cold and a cracked heart, and you couldn't find the willpower to get out of bed. You couldn't even find your phone to text work. Oh yeah... you had left it at Lena's.
The thought of Lena sent a jolt to your heart and you cried again.
At midday, there was a knock at your door. You sighed and got up to answer it, crawling back to your blanket hole after you opened it. She stood at the doorway awkwardly for a second before stepping inside and closing it.
You watched her perch quietly on the sofa before standing back up and shuffling over to you.
'Your phone. I- thought you might need it.' Lena looked more tired than she did last night, eyes red and bags heavy.
'Thanks.' You said, your voice gravely and weak.
'Are you okay?' She picked up on the voice change.
'I got a cold.' You sniffled to prove your point.
'But we haven't been... (y/n).' She looked at you with tears in her eyes.
'Tell me you didn't walk home last night.' She whispered.
'I would be lying if I did.' You replied.
'Oh god.' She put her head in her hands and sobbed loudly into them for a good minute.
You sat watching, still not sure what was about to go down.
'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' She finally breathed out and looked up, practically crying the words out.
'It's- it's...' You wanted to say it was okay but it wasn't.
'I was horrible. I was- god- I was malicious.' She cried between every word.
You blinked your tears away and sighed.
'I'm a terrible girlfriend and I'm sorry.' Her lip wobbled as if she was going to sob again at any second.
'Are we still girlfriends? Because what you said last night-'
'What I said last night was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could I would take all of my words back.' She cut through.
'But you said them. You said- you said you weren't sure why you were with me Lena.' You stuttered out.
'I know. I know why I'm with you. I love you.'
'It hurt. It hurt so much Lee. Do you even want this relationship anymore?' You sobbed, finally letting yourself go.
'Yes. Yes! Of course I do. God I love you more than anything.' She sobbed too.
'Are you sure?' You asked.
'Yes. Fuck (y/n) of course I'm sure.'
You surged forward and wrapped your arms around her, indulging in her doing the same.
You still had a lot to talk about, but you'd do it together.
