TW: mentions of death and depression and suicide
You soar up through the clouds, testing the new boots you had modified the night before. You kicked your feet out and flew upwards several feet, dipping down again to push off against nothing and go horizontally over the city.
A grin builds up as your helmet detects a fast moving object coming from behind.
You feel the sudden impact as she clatters into you from the side and pulls you down.
You crash onto a building and she pins you down onto it with a snarl.
It loosens slightly when she realises who it is.
'Are you serious? Alex, call off backup, it's the idiot again.' She says into her comms.
'Awh you have a nickname for me? How sweet.' You smirk under your helmet.
Her eyebrows furrowed further and you chuckled.
'It's not sweet. Ugh. You are so annoying!'
'And yet you're straddling me.' You watched as her face turned as red as her suit and she scrambled off of you.
'Whatever. Can you keep out of the sky for once?' She grumbled.
'Can't keep track of me Supergirl?' You smile.
'You keep flipping finding our trackers.' She says.
'Yeah well the DEO isn't great at hiding them. See you around.' You laugh at her shocked expression, blasting off to the sound of her spluttering something about 'how the hell did she know about the DEO'.
—-
You walked into the DEO with ease, ignoring the several guns pointed at you.
'Who are you?' Alex Danvers said, her gun raised.
'I think you call me 'idiot'?' You grin when she gawks at you.
You get closer to her.
'And you know how much your sister loves me.' You whisper.
She tugs you into a private room.
'How did you get in here? And how do you know I'm related to Supergirl?' She looks angry and you shrug.
'I have my sources.'
'You know, you're stupid for coming in her without your helmet on. Now we know who you are.' Alex said, crossing her arms.
'Yes you do. You still won't catch me, Alex.'
'Just you wait.' She smirked.
You patted her shoulder, moving past her.
'Where are you going?'
'Away. Don't worry, you'll see me soon.'
'Wait! No.'
'You have no right to hold me here. Adios.' You saluted her and walked out of the DEO.
—-
You put your legs up and pressed the button that allowed you to listen to what your bug picked up.
'She what?' Supergirl, or Kara Danvers as you now knew her said.
'Walked in here like she owned the place. I wanted to punch her.'
'And without her helmet?'
'Yep.'
'What did she look like?'
'Bisexual dumbass, this isn't what we should be focusing on.'
'Sorry.'
'But she was hot. Like incredibly hot.'
'Really? Rao.'
'Kara. Keep focus. We need to take down this idiot.'
'Yes. Of course.'
You stopped listening, a blush rising at the fact Supergirl thought you were attractive.
—-
'Kara.' You landed next to her, watching as the building she had held up started to crumble.
'What are you doing here? Cant you see I'm trying to save people.' She snarled.
You blanched.
'I came to help.' You said, more quiet.
'I don't need your annoyances right now.' She said, groaning.
You ducked and got into a crouching position, holding the weight of the building off of her and pushing off with your boots.
Taking it into the sky, you tilted it into an upright position and placed it back down.
You landed, your ears rushing with sounds around you and your heart beating erratically. Waves of anger were boiling through your body and you could feel an impending panic attack.
Supergirl walked up to you.
'Thank you. It's-'
'Save it.' You snapped, tears accumulating and you choked back a sob before flying straight out of there.
You didn't get out of bed for a week, you couldn't.
—-
'Long time no see Supergirl.' You sat on the edge of a building, watching as the red and blue figure came closer.
You ignored the shock in her face at seeing yours, sans helmet for the first time.
'Causing havoc again?' She asked.
'Have I ever? Caused havoc I mean.' You replied.
'Well no but-'
'I didn't appreciate the way you spoke to me.' You mumbled, letting a tear fall.
'I'm sorry. I thought because you don't usually help-'
'I can't. It brings back... memories I can't handle. I helped because it looked like you could be crushed by that building.' You breathed, looking down at your shaking hands.
'Oh well thank you.' Kara said.
'Right. Well, see you.' You leapt off the building, wondering what it'd be like if you could just keep falling and falling until the pain stopped, but your boots kicked in and sent you soaring away before Supergirl could say another word.
—-
'I'm sorry about the last few times I saw you.' You started with, flying up to meet her in the sky where she was soaking in the sun rays.
'No I'm sorry-'
'I was in a bad place and-'
'No really-'
'It's fine hones-'
You both stopped and chuckled at each other.
'God how do you look this good in the morning?' She asked, and a split second after her face was an alarming shade of red.
'You and your sister are really fuelling my ego Supergirl.'
'My sis- did you bug us?' Kara looked over at you.
'Maybe. I did a way better job than you guys.' You grinned.
'Wh- How?'
'I never give away my secrets.'
'Wait... when did you listen up to?' Kara had gone pale.
'Only one conversation, I'm not too fond of invading peoples privacy. Why? Say something I shouldn't hear Kara?' You smirked when she started stuttering an excuse of work and flying off.
—-
You flew up quickly and took a heaving breath before screaming your throat raw.
You stayed suspended for a moment, curling in on yourself slightly and trembling under the weight of your pain.
'Hey. Are you okay?' You heard her familiar voice, soft and reserved this time.
'No.' You sobbed.
'Can I hug you?' She floated slightly closer.
'Yes. Please.' You curled into the strong arms that entrapped you and felt the tension flow out of you in painful shivers and cries.
It took a long time for your breaths to even out and your body to stop crumbling under the weight of your emotions.
Kara never left.
'I- I have to go.' You gulped down the sob that almost comes out.
'Of course sorry.' You step out of her embrace.
'I would love to stay here but-'
'It's okay.' You shrug, but it causes another sharp tremor and you try to clench all your muscles to stop it.
'No it's not okay. But there's someone to save.' She whispered.
'I'll see you soon Kara.' You watch her fly away.
—-
'Hey Al. Can I call you Al? I feel like we've gotten to that point in our relationship.' You slur, walking clumsily to the agents side.
'(y/n) what-'
'Bad guy. Same bad guy every time. I may need some stitches.' You feel blood in your mouth.
You might welcome death, but not if it means he wins.
'Come on.' Someone, was it Alex? Dragged you through the DEO but you passed out after that.
You came to with someone snoring lightly next to you.
'You snore?' You croaked out.
Kara sat up immediately, eyes alert.
She grabbed you water and scoffed.
'I don't snore.'
'You do.' You said back, grinning when she huffed.
'Are you okay?' She asked.
'Yeah. Had worse injuries.' You shrugged.
'About that...' Alex said, having come into your room.
'What?'
'Your scars... they look...'
'I don't want to talk about them.'
'As your medical-'
'I don't want to talk about them. Please.' Your heart rate stuttered and the heart monitor caught you out.
You wondered which ones they were talking about.
The harsh, nasty ones you inflicted on yourself.
The ones he inflicted on you over the years.
Or the ones from that night, also inflicted by him.
'Okay. That's okay. How are you feeling?' Alex asked.
'Better than before that's for sure.'
'Good. We had to do surgery on your lung but besides from that you're fine.'
'Cool.'
'Do you have any family we can call to go over the recovery plan?' Alex continued.
'No.' You flinched at the question, and then again at the questioning glances afterwards.
'Can I just call my best friend and get him to pick me up?' You asked.
'Yes that's fine.' Alex said, her voice calculated.
'Awesome.'
You left with a heavy heart, a heavy lung and the knowledge that the Danvers sisters knew another dark part of you.
—-
'So, why did you need a new therapist?' Kelly Olsen sat across from you.
'My other one left.' You hadn't been yourself for the past few weeks. Layla, your last therapist, had to move elsewhere for her husbands work and you hadn't realised how heavily you relied on her to help you until she was gone.
'Okay. And how did that make you feel?' You already knew you would like Kelly, she seemed nice and caring.
'Our of control. I hated it.' You let out.
'Have you been processing these emotions or pushing them away?' She asked.
'Not really. I've been going to work but it's felt like a chore.' Your head ducks at her inquisitive expression.
'Okay. That's okay.' She sat back and before saying anything was cut off by her phone ringing.
'Sorry, this is highly unprofessional.' She muttered.
'It's fine you can take the call.'
'No I shoul-'
'It's fine. Promise.'
'Okay. Thank you.'
