Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 179

Eren's POV:

Dad picked us up and took us to their house. He packed a bag for himself and said he was going to stay on the couch, not wanting us to be in the house alone. I don't blame him. Especially with Hange getting her memory back and me in the verge of a psychotic break. The girls went to their rooms but I stayed in the kitchen along with my dad.

"Now I get why he never wanted to leave this place." I knew he was trying to lighten the mood but I don't think anything will work.

"Yeah." I felt empty inside. I kept my eyes on the counter along with random stuff from the mailbox.

"Are you hungry at all?" I shook my head. He sighed and walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. The somewhat unwanted affection made my stomach hurt. "He'll be okay, Eren." He actually sounded confident rather than trying to convince himself.

"How do you know?"

"How often did you think about Levi when you still had the power of the Founder?"

"A lot...almost every second actually. But why does that matter?"

"Because you didn't create this just to let it fail."

"I've already failed everyone so many times though." I rested my head on his left arm and felt defeated. I'll always feel like I just can't win. "Look at everything I've caused. Mom is leaving because of me. Kuchel got shot and died in Levi's arms by Kenny, someone I tried to keep him away from yet I crawled right into it. Bertolt would've needed to die for Armin to get his memory back. Nobody talks about it around me because they know it's my fault. I put a dent in Mikasa and Levi's relationship. You used to be afraid of me. I can't be forgiven. I just can't." He didn't know how to respond so he stayed silent. Truthfully, his silence was preferred rather than him telling me how it wasn't true. It was all true. "There are people in this world who don't deserve happiness. It was like that last time and it's like that this time."

"Eren, you're only 16. I know you're incredibly mature for your age and you've already been through so much but this is where I have to disagree. Think of everything else you've done. Son, I failed you once before. You gave me the chance to fix that. I wouldn't be here now if it weren't the case. There is no war that needs to be fought. Every teenager has their struggles. Some more extreme than others. But even though you did what you had done in another lifetime, don't forget who you are. You are Eren Jaeger. You are strong, you are fearless, and you are heroic. Tonight has been a tragedy but Levi could be dead right now if you hadn't found him in time. Do you realize that? You saved him. I know saying 'look on the bright side' is cliche, but you need to look at the bigger picture and see what you've done for other people."

"I can't." I sniffled, wiping my eyes. "I just can't."

"Maybe one day you can."