Complications Throughout Generations

Chapter 169

Connie's POV:

My heart is racing and my head is spinning. It's one thing reading everything in books, which was quite the challenge due to the fact that I hate reading, but then it's another to see it all over again. The biggest takeaways so far are that Eren was insane, I used to brush my mom's Titan teeth, I tried to kill a child, Levi saved my life, and I lost Sasha.

"Siri," I said to my phone as I drove, "call Sasha."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize that name."

God damn it, Siri.

I started using Siri when I drive because I almost crashed the car once and I've been advised to find other ways to use my phone in the car. The first suggestion being to not use it at all while I'm driving but that's boring.

"Siri, call Sasha!" I was getting frustrated.

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize that name."

"Fine," I groaned and rolled my eyes, "call Perfection."

"Calling Perfection."

Fuck you, Siri.

"Connie? Are you okay?" Sasha answered.

"I'm coming over." Nice going, Connie. You could've asked nicely instead.

"O-okay? Um, when?"

"I'm at your house."

I turned off my car and rushed to the front door. I put my finger up to ring the doorbell but Sasha swung the door open and gave me a head nod to come in. I followed behind her as she walked to her room and my stress level was through the roof. It's shocking to some, I know. Connie Springer does in fact have other emotions besides stupidity...wait...is stupidity an emotion? Probably.

"Are you okay, Connie?" She seemed nervous once she closed her bedroom door. I sat on her bed and started to bounce my leg, almost nervous for what I was about to say next.

"Sasha, I love you," I blurted out, "you know, at first I wanted you to have your time to explore and find other things but I just can't let you go, I'm sorry. I had...a realization recently." A realization being my old memories. "I just can't stand imagine myself with anyone else."

"Connie, we're only 16." She sounded as if what I was saying was shameful.

"Sasha, I had a crush on you in kindergarten all the way to middle school and then I fell in love with you. I love everything about you. I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."

"Did you just..."

"Quote Forrest Gump? Yes. Great movie."

"Sure." That lightened her spirits a bit.

"But seriously. I can't lose you. This whole 'let's be friends for now' thing is going to tear me apart. I know I said I was okay with it but I'm not."

"What was this...realization, Connie?" I think she may be catching on. She was always smarter than me. I never would've picked up on someone saying things like that.

"Eren."

"Eren?"

"He gave me my memory back." She covered her mouth immediately and closed her eyes. "Sasha, please." I stood up off the bed and walked over to her, holding her shoulders and rubbing them up and down. "Do you wanna know what I saw in those memories?" She didn't react. I'll take that as a yes. "It was me being in love with you and never telling you until I eventually lost you...Sasha, I died alone. I didn't find anyone else because there was no one else. I get it, we're only 16. But we met when we were 15 and I felt that way till I was on my death bed. I know you love me, Sasha." No, I actually don't. But I'm really hoping she does.

"I do love you, Connie." She whispered and rested her head on my chest.

"I know I'm not the smartest or the most attractive or the coolest or the funniest...or anything really. But I can tell you right now, I will love you in every single way I possibly can."

She sighed and shook her head. It made my stomach drop.

"I need time to think." She backed away from me and went to open her bedroom door. "I can't tell you when I'll have an answer but I'll let you know."

"Okay." I nodded, almost feeling dumber than ever.

I left the house and went back into my car and sat there without turning on the engine.

I can't lose her.

Not again.